Health: Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got...

By anon - 20/06/2014 05:06 - United States - Kennett

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

agreeclassic 45 359

vote type 1 24 752

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By kiriakousauce21 - 15/02/2010 07:44 - France

Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML

agreeclassic 11 868

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By KBO - 08/06/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

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Don't try this at home

By Lunar-Spice - 07/11/2020 08:01

Today, I found out what it feels like to put in a contact while drunk. My eye still hurts. FML

agreeclassic 278

vote type 1 838

Down the hatch

By Anonymous - 05/11/2024 15:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I woke up with a hangover and a pounding headache and tried to take an ibuprofen with a glass of water. I missed my mouth and threw the pill directly into my eye. FML

agreeclassic 137

vote type 1 498

By redeye - 19/09/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML

agreeclassic 40 702

vote type 1 2 467

Rushed

By K.Trinity - 15/06/2024 20:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 135

vote type 1 464

Morning pick-me-up

By Anonymous - 30/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

agreeclassic 27 986

vote type 1 8 671

Oh gosh

By Anonymous - 16/02/2020 14:00

Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML

agreeclassic 1 415

vote type 1 700

By halfasleep - 27/03/2012 14:00 - United States - New Haven

Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't know what burned more, when it went down or when it came back up. FML

agreeclassic 21 683

vote type 1 14 692

Party hard

By jagerbombs - 30/12/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML

agreeclassic 7 030

vote type 1 46 470

mistertbawk420 10

Friday 20 June 2014 16:56

Minty fresh

silvercamaro 22

Friday 20 June 2014 17:00

At least you still have decent enough eyesight to post this on FML

Comments

annomonous 3

Thursday 26 June 2014 19:41

Maybe try not to drink so much next time!

The_Burrito_Guy 6

Friday 4 July 2014 4:09

At least it wasn't the alcohol you drank.

xXCamoArmyGurlxX 4

Monday 7 July 2014 20:38

Lol I'm wearing contacts now and my eyes hurt thinking of that

sohibil 6

Wednesday 9 July 2014 11:38

And you probably washed your mouth using that contact solution :)

Daesh_fml 9

Sunday 7 December 2014 21:08

That's almost a ydi for being that drunk and not able to notice, but no one deserves that... no one.

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vote type 1 2 630

Today, I went to my first job interview in months. Just minutes in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto my shirt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgusted interviewer pointed it out. FML

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Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML

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Today, my son couldn't find all the parts to his Cub Scout uniform. I had a serious talk with him about being prepared, and how he would need to live with the consequences of not having the right outfit on. When we arrived at the meeting, everyone was in costumes because it's Halloween. I forgot. FML

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vote type 1 44 141