Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth....

By foreverDark - 14/05/2012 12:40 - United States - Aurora

Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth. I'd knocked down furniture and screamed up the house to do so, but I finally got it. What did I see first thing this morning? Another moth. FML

agreeclassic 10 615

vote type 1 23 541

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Sorry, dude

By Aussie mate - 24/09/2020 08:01 - Australia

Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML

agreeclassic 1 114

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By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 21:20 - Canada

Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML

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No good deed…

By oops - 04/12/2009 17:23 - United States

Today, I saw a moth trapped in a spider web. Feeling gracious, I gently freed it, and then took it to the window to let it out. When I opened the window to set him free, my $300 air conditioner fell two stories and smashed on the sidewalk. The moth flew away. FML

agreeclassic 14 768

vote type 1 36 415

Night terrors

By Si123 - 15/08/2020 08:01

Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML

agreeclassic 1 262

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Mothman is real

By NOT THE BEES...oh - 29/08/2022 21:00 - United States

Today, there's a moth in my house, who either does nothing, or flies around like it just ate enough sugar for one lifetime. Every time I see it, I think it's a wasp and, being deathly afraid of them, I go into a full-blown panic attack until the sight of it bumping into light bulbs brings me back to reality. FML

agreeclassic 656

vote type 1 388

By Anonymous - 27/07/2014 18:44 - Germany - Oberursel

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

agreeclassic 42 728

vote type 1 5 394

By Human fly - 21/04/2013 06:20 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

agreeclassic 25 105

vote type 1 46 474

Not funny, guys

By livgasms - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my family decided it would be hilarious to catch the biggest moths they could and let them loose in my room. I'm terrified of moths and they thought it would be "funny as hell" to watch me freak out. FML

agreeclassic 31 287

vote type 1 5 223

Get it out!

By TLM9312 - 07/06/2023 12:00 - Canada - Madoc

Today, I've been awake since 3 a.m. Why? A bat flew into the house and made its way to my bedroom. We haven't been able to find it. FML

agreeclassic 738

vote type 1 95

By bugnose - 16/05/2011 06:26

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

agreeclassic 35 949

vote type 1 9 138

LoganBurrito 6

Monday 14 May 2012 18:33

MOTHer of god.

mhopper 13

Monday 14 May 2012 18:32

Use a hammer next time

Comments

hurley12 30

Tuesday 5 May 2015 10:41

Dirty butterflies

XtremeHeat 14

Saturday 6 June 2015 1:27

Ello. My name is Inigo Mothtoya. You keel my father. Prepare to die.

TallMist 32

Thursday 11 June 2015 18:17

"Pesky bee"

Kieranr10 23

Wednesday 23 September 2015 17:02

So your scared of moths.

tomvertigo 17

Wednesday 6 January 2016 16:08

I truly don't get moth fear. Are you afraid of feathers and teddy bear stuffing, too?

wrenavery90 12

Monday 16 May 2022 15:47

Did you think it was just one lone moth??? And why are you bothering them. Leave then alone. They won't bother you.

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Today, I thought I saw a snake while I was watering. I got my son to check it out and he agreed too. I was nervous so I called animal control, and they said it would cost $50 just for them to come out, I agreed. It ends up I paid $50 for them to pick up an old diamond weave farmer's hat. FML

agreeclassic 9 557

vote type 1 42 833

Today, I was driving my car when I suddenly got diarrhea and shat my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then one of my workmates saw my car and came to say hello. She saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML

agreeclassic 2 270

vote type 1 305

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML

agreeclassic 918

vote type 1 292

Today, I just realized the harder my girlfriend comes during sex, the louder she snores after. I've tried earplugs but sometimes, like tonight, once I am up, I can't fall back to sleep. My choices are thus great sex and no sleep, or great sleep but no sex. FML

agreeclassic 43 295

vote type 1 5 827

Today, I told my husband that if he wanted any chance of salvaging our marriage, we would have to go to counseling and he must cut ALL ties with the woman he had an affair with. The sniveling worm actually had the audacity to ask, “If we stop the sex, can I still stay friends with her?” FML

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Today, for the third time, I had to tell my stepfather to stop using my razor. It seems when I told him last time that I use it on my armpits, that only encouraged the behaviour. FML

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