Miscellaneous: Today, I was sitting in a bar telling some young dude to accept...

By Anonymous - 07/09/2015 15:49 - United States - Bradenton

Today, I was sitting in a bar telling some young dude to accept responsibility for his life choices. I'm over 50 and was spending my last five dollars on beer. FML

agreeclassic 12 599

vote type 1 25 704

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

It's on me

By doubledown - 04/06/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I went to the bar I go to every week. My favorite bartender told me I owed $50 for a tab because the waiter screwed up and undercharged me. The tab was from when my friends bought me drinks to cheer me up because my girlfriend moved away. I ended up paying for my own drinks, plus theirs. FML

agreeclassic 52 458

vote type 1 3 470

By halien1982 - 03/01/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was sitting at the bar of a popular local restaurant. I sat there for a few hours and drank my sorrows away with the bartender. I thought she was pretty, and decided to give her a large tip. The tip sent me over my credit card limit, and the bartender is not single. FML

agreeclassic 8 433

vote type 1 35 458

Nice try

By anonymous - 29/06/2010 02:21 - United States

Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML

agreeclassic 36 706

vote type 1 12 971

By ash - 25/08/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML

agreeclassic 11 110

vote type 1 41 847

So close…

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, a pretty co-worker invited me out for drinks after my shift. I have no money left until payday. Embarrassed, I had to decline and go home alone. FML

agreeclassic 31 303

vote type 1 7 432

By darn it. - 20/02/2009 16:16 - United States

Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML

agreeclassic 52 067

vote type 1 4 161

By Anonymous - 09/12/2014 21:14 - United States - Margate City

Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML

agreeclassic 35 619

vote type 1 3 153

By Anonymous - 21/03/2014 22:35 - Australia

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

agreeclassic 49 919

vote type 1 6 757

By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 10:51 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

agreeclassic 30 331

vote type 1 1 907

It's all my fault

By Anonymous - 18/08/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

agreeclassic 12 053

vote type 1 39 445

MidnaLink 33

Monday 7 September 2015 23:09

Yeah, I don't think you should be doling out life advice…

lexiieeex3 32

Monday 7 September 2015 23:12

There's a button for that.

Comments

trucker2 33

Tuesday 8 September 2015 0:51

Nice role model, or Not

rainbowsRlove 15

Tuesday 8 September 2015 1:36

maybe you should've mentioned it to him I'm sure your point would have been made

zenrael 21

Tuesday 8 September 2015 1:59

The

laden_swallow09 34

Tuesday 8 September 2015 2:21

rabbit

UhHuhHoney 20

Tuesday 8 September 2015 3:11

Smells

EvilTurtle 35

Tuesday 8 September 2015 4:33

CoffeeChickBlows 13

Tuesday 8 September 2015 4:35

shit

JustinJK 21

Tuesday 8 September 2015 4:43

and

One_Way 43

Tuesday 8 September 2015 5:04

eats

CoffeeChickBlows 13

Tuesday 8 September 2015 5:17

shit

daniel271 13

Tuesday 8 September 2015 6:37

The end

Jryan952015 7

Tuesday 8 September 2015 2:25

What bar are you at I'll come join you for a beer

rageprincess 5

Tuesday 8 September 2015 2:26

Trust me, we already know...

AletheDefender 15

Tuesday 8 September 2015 2:30

Maybe you should try to take some of your own advice, and I'm not trying to be sarcastic at all

backdoorman010 9

Tuesday 8 September 2015 3:39

do as I say not as I do

xnemesis1981 15

Tuesday 8 September 2015 3:52

Be the change you want to see.

Adamjohn82 19

Tuesday 8 September 2015 5:01

Priorities. Someone has them straight.

thejimler 9

Tuesday 8 September 2015 5:15

If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a terrible warning instead.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my daughter lost a tooth. I wanted to make the Tooth Fairy experience extra special, so I dipped her doll's feet in paint to leave “tracks” from the window to her bed. As I was adding the finishing touches and spreading glitter, I tripped on a toy, faceplanted and lost my own tooth. FML

agreeclassic 1 154

vote type 1 401

Today, I attended a TEDx conference. The woman sitting next to me spent the whole time picking her nose, playing with the retrieved contents, and sticking her hand down her pants. FML

agreeclassic 20 276

vote type 1 1 500

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

agreeclassic 42 952

vote type 1 4 625

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

agreeclassic 22 546

vote type 1 45 236

Today, I've known for a long time that I generally only wake up at ungodly hours in the night when something is wrong with me. Since last week, I've been doing this pretty much every night. Only now, I can't figure out what's wrong. Consequently, my anxiety is now keeping me awake too. FML

agreeclassic 822

vote type 1 183

Today, I got laid off from my job for the second time. Now I'm broke, rent is badly due, and I'm really considering going back to being a dominatrix just until I can find something else. FML

agreeclassic 466

vote type 1 130