Health: Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once... - FML

By 5p4571k - 25/05/2014 17:35 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

agreeclassic 46 973

vote type 1 7 583

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Ryan - 07/02/2010 14:18 - France

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

agreeclassic 38 476

vote type 1 4 067

Happy wife, happy life, right?

By tradwife blues - 22/08/2023 15:02 - United States

Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML

agreeclassic 928

vote type 1 165

By PWI_addict - 03/01/2010 17:11 - United States

Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML

agreeclassic 11 241

vote type 1 35 594

By Chef stupid - 11/08/2016 15:32 - United States - Houston

Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

agreeclassic 13 172

vote type 1 2 548

Fork off

By Godzilla’s wife - 28/12/2024 18:00 - United States - Orange

Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML

agreeclassic 346

vote type 1 120

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

agreeclassic 2 748

vote type 1 352

Chop chop

By shaz - 27/04/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML

agreeclassic 704

vote type 1 132

Kitchen Nightmares

By just the tip, though - 28/01/2014 17:06 - United States - Grovetown

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

agreeclassic 43 043

vote type 1 11 943

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 21:12 - United States - Rockville

Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML

agreeclassic 21 728

vote type 1 2 797

By Prae - 01/10/2012 05:47 - United States - Dallas

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

agreeclassic 24 705

vote type 1 2 122

Next

TOP COMMENTS

bromeister 6

Sunday 25 May 2014 21:51

When life gives you lemons, cut them carefully.

bellles 18

Sunday 25 May 2014 21:53

Those damn bloody lemons

Comments

Adam5858 17

Sunday 25 May 2014 23:08

Did it get infected?

ViviMage 39

Sunday 25 May 2014 23:12

Tuck your fingertips in or but a mandolin cutter with a finger guard

peelmeandsee 8

Sunday 25 May 2014 23:30

*tramatized noise*

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 25 May 2014 23:35

Must be really bad if even noise can be traumatised...

Piranhasauce 1

Sunday 25 May 2014 23:46

I work in a kitchen so I'm a little less sympathetic. I can call the wambulance if you need it tho.

Kami_no_Kage 10

Monday 26 May 2014 0:11

Cats paw when cutting vegetables. Remember.

Metagame 12

Monday 26 May 2014 0:23

That's even worse than acid!...Wait...

mybubbles2000 13

Monday 26 May 2014 1:24

That's just adding insult to injury.

ElphieRose 5

Monday 26 May 2014 1:25

Oh good lord I'm sorry

BMTHsuperfan 18

Monday 26 May 2014 2:28

i cringed at that. sorry OP.

thesimp 6

Monday 26 May 2014 2:29

A feast of blood... Delightful :)

1
2
3
4
5

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, my husband ended an argument with, "Do you want to know why people don't like being around you?" FML

agreeclassic 749

vote type 1 435

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

agreeclassic 27 026

vote type 1 2 661

Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML

agreeclassic 45 361

vote type 1 4 688

Today, I’m recovering from an accident. My boyfriend wanted to get it on, but I told him I couldn’t as I'd had a major spinal injury. He replied, "But you have a mouth, though stop with the excuses." FML

agreeclassic 2 057

vote type 1 271

Today, while out to dinner with my adult daughter, I told her I look at her Twitter because it helped me to feel close to her since she rarely calls or visits. When I got home from dinner and looked at her Twitter, she had set it to private. FML

agreeclassic 10 921

vote type 1 2 732

Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML

agreeclassic 42 777

vote type 1 16 191