Kids: Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old girl and we were eating...

By nutsucker - 08/03/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was, "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

agreeclassic 57 546

vote type 1 10 870

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Lisaa918 - 10/06/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML

agreeclassic 69 215

vote type 1 6 192

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my boss's kids. I brought chocolate for them and the youngest said he had never had chocolate and didn't want any. I told him he should always try new things and should eat it. He did. He's allergic. FML

agreeclassic 15 421

vote type 1 42 075

By tenthousandspoon - 13/09/2010 00:08 - New Zealand

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

agreeclassic 27 855

vote type 1 3 056

By Grant - 11/01/2013 00:51 - United States

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

agreeclassic 36 781

vote type 1 3 114

Bad babysitter

By cantprovenothing - 18/04/2014 21:31 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

agreeclassic 28 631

vote type 1 48 863

By nutrigrain123 - 23/05/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

agreeclassic 45 570

vote type 1 27 583

By ManchotDesAndes - 26/02/2015 07:35 - France - Bezons

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

agreeclassic 33 311

vote type 1 11 179

Kids say the darndest things

By Chrissy - 14/09/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting my niece. While we were at the grocery store, she pointed at me and loudly announced, “She says she’s on a diet, but she eats cookies in bed!” She wasn’t wrong. The cashier raised an eyebrow. FML

agreeclassic 257

vote type 1 165

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

agreeclassic 689

vote type 1 298

Demon child

By thatoneguy - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a five year-old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

agreeclassic 34 769

vote type 1 3 529

Mark_Power 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:04

LMFAO THAT'S HILARIOUS.

TheBigDawg 8

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:05

I reeeeeeeeally hope they asked you to explain right away...lol

Comments

_MissyJennifer_ 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 3:50

Epic fail xD

3peeps 5

Thursday 29 December 2011 17:29

major fail wow make better choices of wording

browneyed 7

Wednesday 8 February 2012 22:59

thank god you're female

CammyGal 26

Wednesday 29 August 2012 4:32

Imagine how much worse it would be if you were a guy, OP. LOL.

zfchatroulette 24

Monday 28 January 2013 18:17

I know this saying is outdated, but... Epic Fail!

Dilwann 27

Thursday 28 February 2013 15:24

Why are you even telling the kid how to eat that candy? I would just chew on it as well, since (1) you'd still taste the chocolate, but in combo with the nuts, and (2) I don't have the patience to wait.