Miscellaneous Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom...

Anonymous - 08/11/2014 20:36 - United States - Deland

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

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lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

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Joe Lizen - 07/08/2012 01:40 - United States - New Lenox

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

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hypercrite dad - 19/09/2014 18:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

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Sneaky dad

say no to dick - 18/04/2014 22:56 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

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Anonymous - 25/11/2012 18:55 - Europe

Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML

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Anonymous - 28/09/2013 21:28 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

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Dope

valarmorgoolies - - United States - Binghamton

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

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ironyisabitch - 02/06/2012 05:43 - United States - Rohnert Park

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

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That one weird kid

shellski - 21/01/2012 01:21 - United States

Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know…" and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML

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Yoooooo0 - 29/11/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

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your_ma 27

Sunday 9 November 2014 9:08

That's what you get for being a little bitch

jazmin3012 28

Sunday 9 November 2014 9:22

"Today, I tried to blackmail my dad..." Instant YDI

your_ma 27

Sunday 9 November 2014 9:08

That's what you get for being a little bitch

BasedComment 15

Sunday 9 November 2014 9:16

But mommmmm

nyte_assassin1 11

Sunday 9 November 2014 13:32

haliacc 17

Sunday 9 November 2014 13:55

It's never going to work out well when you have bad intentions! Your mum and dad probably do it together!

devildog562 33

Sunday 9 November 2014 18:59

Why didn't you steal the weed and bong as a blackmail? Jeeze learn how to do it right without being a snitch op.

cryssycakesx3 22

Sunday 9 November 2014 20:12

nyte_assassin1 11

Sunday 9 November 2014 21:31

South Park reference

1tsmenoah 20

Tuesday 11 November 2014 19:25

Haven't you guys heard, snitches get grounded til' next year

Lightning_Farron 11

Wednesday 27 May 2015 16:21

What the hell?! His dad smokes an illegal drug they should BOTH be punished.

MRP360 14

Sunday 9 November 2014 9:16

Were you going to make him get you a new pacifier?

onlychildFTW 33

Sunday 9 November 2014 9:43

It doesn't seem babyish to blackmail someone; it takes thought and knowledge.

Llama_Face89 33

Sunday 9 November 2014 12:04

7- it's also kinda a scumbag and bitchy way to get what you want. Especially when you're blackmailing your parents. Pretty low.

pandalover69 26

Sunday 9 November 2014 18:43

@7 yeah but it takes a moron like the OP to blackmail his parents. Never blackmail family, it will come back and bite you in the ass.

devildog562 33

Sunday 9 November 2014 19:02

39 has it right. All you truly have is family . Unfortunately my family is the type to hand you over to the Feds instead of supporting family , figuratively speaking. Family should always be there for family the best they can . Don't be an enabler but dam. Be there for people when they are down .