Miscellaneous: Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple....

By Rochelle - 25/07/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

agreeclassic 10 103

vote type 1 29 268

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By moonlight77 - 11/01/2019 14:00

Today, I deliberately snapped a pic of myself and edited it to add to my story, in order to make my ex think I have a life on a Saturday night. FML

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By Bonapp - 09/02/2012 22:11 - France

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

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By sarah - 18/04/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML

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By TEETH - 12/11/2025 09:00

Today, in an attempt to eat healthier snacks, I took an apple to work. I ate it after lunch. Now my teeth are full of bits of apple and I can't focus on my work because it's distracting. Three hours until I can get home and floss. FML

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By Nose bleed - 16/04/2014 02:48 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/12/2014 21:00 - United States

Today, my dad has discovered selfies and my mom has discovered taking pictures of food. Now I'm at a restaurant, suffering through it all and not being able to eat anything until my mom has taken pictures of it. FML

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Got away with it, surely?

By Cinnanyan - 02/06/2016 10:20 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, due to me not looking, I accidentally bit an apple made of styrofoam that was meant to be a part of a display on the kitchen table. My roommates were there and me not wanting to embarrass myself by putting it back, I walked out, apple in hand, to throw it away elsewhere. FML

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By Lifeless - 15/08/2010 08:42 - United States

Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML

agreeclassic 14 634

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By sunshine19217 - 18/01/2011 23:07 - United States

Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML

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By a_B_c_D_e_F_g - 27/06/2009 14:29 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

agreeclassic 62 104

vote type 1 7 599

ScaughtieHolden 11

Wednesday 25 July 2012 16:01

You're supposed to use a banana.

ebonyirony 29

Wednesday 25 July 2012 15:58

Ohhh yeah. Red....delicious.

Comments

johnboyu 0

Thursday 26 July 2012 6:16

Did you choke on it?

scarllet13101 5

Thursday 26 July 2012 9:07

eccentrix 12

Thursday 26 July 2012 10:06

I never understand why people complain about things they choose to do which have no negative consequences.

LittleMagicWolf 7

Thursday 26 July 2012 16:40

I'm laughing cuz I can relate

axeinthehead14 3

Thursday 26 July 2012 18:48

Oh is that a granny smith or are u just happy to see me?

Sings4Ever 3

Friday 27 July 2012 0:12

Ummm banana???

Reaper5639 16

Friday 27 July 2012 8:44

Well its beter than duck facing.

Harlequin073 6

Friday 27 July 2012 17:20

Noone does, just enjoy the apple while you can and have the pic as a reminder

mmw1088 4

Sunday 29 July 2012 1:14

This is stupid.

lonkite101 14

Monday 30 July 2012 15:08

39- da hell ?

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Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

agreeclassic 11 756

vote type 1 26 538

Today, as I was walking into CVS, two older men outside said to me "Young lady, please consider us on your way out." Thinking they were hitting on me, I rolled my eyes and said "Screw you." When I walked back outside, I realized they were asking for AIDS donations. FML

agreeclassic 10 535

vote type 1 86 259

Today, I was munching on almonds while sitting through a long, boring Teams meeting. I was asked a question unexpectedly, causing me to choke while trying to swallow, right as I put the camera on & turned off mute. Some it sprayed out of my nose. FML

agreeclassic 349

vote type 1 200

Today, I had two of my wisdom teeth removed. One side of my face is completely swollen, and the other is normal. I feel like the elephant man. FML

agreeclassic 22 897

vote type 1 4 238

Today, I posted a picture of a drawing that I was so proud of on Twitter. It was the best drawing I’ve ever done. A few minutes later, someone commented saying, “What is this?” Looks like it’s back to the drawing board for me. FML

agreeclassic 847

vote type 1 226

Today, I called my daughter a wimp and insisted her pain can't be that bad. She left in tears. Later, I got a call from her doctor informing me that she has trigeminal neuralgia, one of the most painful diseases known to man. I'm an asshole. FML

agreeclassic 1 579

vote type 1 10 506

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Got away with it, surely?

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