Love: Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our... - FML

By pistonsunshine - 10/10/2009 18:06 - United States

Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML

agreeclassic 44 852

vote type 1 3 351

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

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By Anonymous - 25/05/2021 00:01

Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML

agreeclassic 1 169

vote type 1 135

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

agreeclassic 47 093

vote type 1 4 131

By Jebus - 23/01/2009 13:31 - Canada

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

agreeclassic 28 823

vote type 1 2 437

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 01:49 - United States

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

agreeclassic 49 660

vote type 1 3 907

Karaoke Dinner Disaster

By Jonathan Park - 05/03/2020 09:06 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML

agreeclassic 1 457

vote type 1 179

By sandyhome - 11/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML

agreeclassic 40 794

vote type 1 6 277

Great date night

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 06:01

Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML

agreeclassic 1 850

vote type 1 196

By tacoboy - 21/08/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

agreeclassic 47 233

vote type 1 6 599

By zed - 09/09/2012 17:21 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML

agreeclassic 26 945

vote type 1 3 112

By waterspike - 29/01/2010 13:18 - France

Today, after finally getting a date with the girl I like, she invited her new boyfriend along as well. I ended up paying for their first date. FML

agreeclassic 32 811

vote type 1 9 987

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TOP COMMENTS

RPGod 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 23:04

Well, at least you now know that she's a psycho bitch, and you don't have too continue to relationship.

KingOfTheWastes 0

Saturday 10 October 2009 23:10

I'm Marshall. Damn right you'll never be as good as me.

Comments

YummiGummi 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 18:43

Marshall beats on his girlfriend and hardly knows who his daughter is... and he raps

Red_Wing_Nut44 14

Friday 5 August 2011 23:06

Cool that chick knows Eminem.

fricgm 6

Saturday 29 October 2011 2:32

is her name, by any chance, lily?

lizmariah 1

Saturday 14 January 2012 1:25

Aww someone still gets an allowance

datguy5 13

Thursday 30 August 2012 3:48

Well Marshall was awesome...

spartanMKIV 9

Sunday 10 February 2013 7:53

was she a short redhead girl that taught kindergarten?

haleymthomas 5

Sunday 2 June 2013 15:11

was her name Lilly? :P

elizacandle 29

Friday 4 April 2014 10:43

I really hope she wasn't referring to HIMYM....

neuronerd 28

Monday 15 December 2014 15:18

So, was her name Katie, and do you live in Richmond?

daemonsparta 16

Monday 3 August 2015 2:01

well she's not with marshall is she?

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Today, my phone provider informed me that I had 12 messages waiting for me on my voicemail. Happy to have friends, I listened with a smile. All of them were from my mother. FML

agreeclassic 573

vote type 1 75

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML

agreeclassic 36 441

vote type 1 5 576

Today, during my religion class, my instructor decided to use the state of the class's cars as a metaphor for our relationship with God. When I told him my car had been totalled in an accident last week, he yelled at me for being an "agent of Satan." One class down, 59 to go. FML

agreeclassic 1 584

vote type 1 239

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

agreeclassic 32 957

vote type 1 3 641

Today, I was just told by a hiring manager that the reasons I'm not getting interviews is because I have a spotty work history. My work history is spotty because my mother ignores my food allergies so she can get attention and, as a result, I'm chronically ill. FML

agreeclassic 1 210

vote type 1 210

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML

agreeclassic 63 416

vote type 1 2 852