Intimacy: Today, I received an email from my girlfriend listing 10 ways...

By quick blow - 16/05/2012 02:53 - United States

Today, I received an email from my girlfriend listing 10 ways to stop premature ejaculation. Subtle. FML

agreeclassic 26 953

vote type 1 7 380

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By anonymous - 16/11/2010 22:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me to Google how to last longer in bed. FML

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Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML

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By FreshDonuts - 28/02/2015 05:03 - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

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By Ariel - 02/06/2009 12:19 - Israel

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

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By CoCo - 22/11/2008 04:03 - France

Today, my girlfriend came home with new condoms: Manix Endurance containing a numbing gel designed to help me "last longer". FML

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By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

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By thismakesmesad - 07/09/2011 16:16 - United States

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

agreeclassic 30 465

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By Anonymous - 10/03/2015 23:15 - United States - Angleton

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

agreeclassic 53 826

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By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

agreeclassic 55 101

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DocBastard 38

Wednesday 16 May 2012 8:31

1) Think about Bieber 2) Think about Bieber 3) Think about Bieber Etc etc

DollyDope 17

Wednesday 16 May 2012 8:35

At least she is trying to work through it with you instead of simply cheating or dumping you!

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shannon2348 14

Friday 1 November 2019 3:12

she's probably already tried subtle and it didn't work. ydi

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Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

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Today, I "woofed" at a man on a gay dating site before realizing he's my Psych professor. Now during every lecture I'll never forget his nipples are pierced. FML

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Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML

agreeclassic 433

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Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to join us. We've been together for two years. FML

agreeclassic 55 593

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Today, my boyfriend is so scared of COVID that he takes precautions beyond what health professionals recommend to satisfy his OCD. He told me he wouldn't be getting the vaccine because he "won't be controlled by the government." Not to worry, he will just continue to be the unbearable control freak he transformed into since this all began. FML

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Today, I went to my boss with a major problem with our distribution software. His response was, "Oh, that is a big problem… Unfortunately it's now 5:31 p.m. and I'm officially on leave and going to Hawaii for three weeks, so it’s not my big problem. It’s yours." FML

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