Animals: Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck...

By ew - 03/08/2014 18:49 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

agreeclassic 25 546

vote type 1 50 008

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By anditburnsburnsburns - 27/08/2013 18:13 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

agreeclassic 39 304

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By Snow - 07/02/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

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By WeldedShut - 03/03/2017 18:00

Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML

agreeclassic 3 784

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By crazyvulva9216 - 27/01/2009 01:17 - United States

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

agreeclassic 8 831

vote type 1 68 961

By inosehowthatgotthere - 10/02/2011 01:12 - United States

Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/06/2012 12:42 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML

agreeclassic 10 115

vote type 1 46 251

By bad luck Bianca - 17/01/2015 22:30 - United States - Houston

Today, I saw a stick in my car and picked it up to throw it out the window. The "stick" turned out to have eyes. It was a dead lizard. FML

agreeclassic 26 859

vote type 1 10 207

By Anonymous - 30/04/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML

agreeclassic 17 033

vote type 1 54 373

By Anonymous - 10/03/2010 20:53 - United States

Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML

agreeclassic 6 435

vote type 1 61 527

On the runs

By coloneltushfinger - this FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I did the best at-home manicure I’ve ever had. I took my time and it looked like it was done professionally. As soon as I put on the top coat and waited for it to dry, my stomach rumbled and I had to run to take a dump. The polish smeared everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

agreeclassic 1 930

vote type 1 483

cjwayy 22

Monday 4 August 2014 0:42

Why would you paint your nails in your car? What if you had spilled?

DippinGrizzly907 27

Monday 4 August 2014 0:43

Well that sure makes for a sticky situation. Doesn't it bug you whenever you mess up your nail polish?

Comments

Realhomesley 5

Thursday 7 August 2014 21:11

Your the chick behind or in front of me that makes me wish I had a huge truck and it was legal to run cars over.

pinkstardust 9

Tuesday 7 July 2015 20:26

That sucks

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Today, my legs were really sore from working out yesterday, so it hurt going down the stairs at work. To avoid the pain, l ignored how stupid I looked and limped down the staircase. When I finally got to the bottom, I hopped off the last step. And twisted my ankle. FML

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Today, my parents came back from their holiday and were constantly asking about "the girl I had over". They thought so because of the two wine glasses in the dishwasher. I didn't have anyone over. I just got drunk two nights in a row and was too lazy to clean the first one. FML

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Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML

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Today, my girlfriend called me and said she needs to take a break from our relationship. Why? Her really clingy ex is really depressed about her dating someone else and he isn't ready to accept it. So she wants to take a break "for his sake" until he's over her. FML

agreeclassic 28 215

vote type 1 2 385

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