Miscellaneous: Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass....

By Hugh_Jankles - 08/01/2010 18:48 - United States

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

agreeclassic 29 281

vote type 1 37 306

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Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML

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By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

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By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 08:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML

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By jjoker - 30/12/2018 14:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I went to the toilet to do a number 2. As I went to wipe, the toilet paper slipped out of my hand and I before my brain could register, I wiped my ass with my bare hand.. I also had curry the night before, so yeah. FML

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By Anonymous - 05/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Warren

Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

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By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML

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By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I was at a restaurant for a quite important business lunch. I really had to go to the bathroom, but there was a queue to the only stall in the whole place, so I decided to just "hold it" and power through. Half an hour later, I sneezed and… didn’t exactly hold it in anymore. I had to excuse myself and leave the restaurant early. FML

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By kinwar - 27/09/2021 07:01 - United States - Hamburg

Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML

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Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

agreeclassic 466

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perdix 29

Friday 8 January 2010 23:22

Congrats on getting shitfaced without taking a single drink! Your liver thanks you.

intensitive 11

Friday 8 January 2010 23:06

That's quite nasty.

Comments

rallychild 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 3:24

thats not weird, i give myself dirty sanchezes all the time

raejackie 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 3:32

I feel like throwing up .

DynamicDave 11

Saturday 9 January 2010 3:33

How many hands do you have?

soclumsy26 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 3:39

i guess it really is more sanitary to sneeze into your elbow...

sweatnut 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 3:44

mmm kinky. pictures or it didn't happen.

TrollTrollTroll 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 3:45

i love that smell

AsAlwaysAndrew 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 3:47

This is where manners will get you in life! How the **** do you sneeze on your elbow? Unless you have an abnormally large nose. :')

welderchick87 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 4:23

Bring your elbow up to your face....duh.

honeybeezy 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 3:51

******* sick

mHyyhartbroHkken 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 3:52

LOL. Your life SUCKS man :D

mandi625 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 4:27

wow that's horrible.

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