Animals: Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently,...

By ghoul - 08/03/2011 11:32

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

agreeclassic 36 866

vote type 1 4 245

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

It's alive!

By notmyrealname123 - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

agreeclassic 36 039

vote type 1 6 590

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 15:30 - United States

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

agreeclassic 32 716

vote type 1 18 313

By "jonnybones223" - 08/03/2019 04:00

Today, I was awakened by my father saying how proud he was of his little boy. I assumed he meant me, since I landed an apprenticeship in the same union he's worked in for 25 years. Turns out he was speaking about his cat, who left a dead squirrel next to my bed. I stepped on the damn thing. FML

agreeclassic 2 281

vote type 1 229

By Sid - 10/04/2011 00:58 - United States

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

agreeclassic 24 707

vote type 1 41 789

Cute

By eyesightfail - 21/11/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

agreeclassic 28 493

vote type 1 15 532

By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:42 - Ireland

Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML

agreeclassic 32 933

vote type 1 3 214

By Facepalmum - 10/01/2013 06:28 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

agreeclassic 33 601

vote type 1 7 944

By tiredmom - 07/07/2016 15:03 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML

agreeclassic 11 357

vote type 1 1 601

By orilykid - 31/10/2012 17:23 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

agreeclassic 26 111

vote type 1 1 961

By Anonymous - 20/06/2013 16:54 - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

agreeclassic 49 757

vote type 1 3 445

savy7093 9

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:04

What's his name?

Ranimal 12

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:05

Future serial killer!

Comments

sourgirl101 28

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:17

That's nuts! Did he want to love it, and pet it and call him George?

Alleged_Cranium 7

Tuesday 8 March 2011 18:20

That's for bunny rabbits, not for squirrels.

ulicksam 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:17

How bad must your place stink if you don't smell a dead squirrel for a week?

blad786 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:24

hope it doesn't have SQUAIDS!

smellymellyy 7

Wednesday 9 March 2011 18:14

Raywilliamjohnson referance FTW!!!

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:27

Would you rather have found his blowup doll under his bed?

sourgirl101 28

Tuesday 8 March 2011 17:14

Psst, that one's hidden in the closet.(:

robotiick 12

Thursday 17 March 2011 1:17

lol good point

seahorses4eva 4

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:29

How old is your son? That sort of determines how I feel about this post.

bryanorange 3

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:29

thats not strange at all

elabby90 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:39

Serial killer in the making tahahaahha:) well that is if he's the one who killed squirrel

amber_dawn12 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:43

aww... poor thing

2010smhill2010 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:46

i moderated this

NJXD 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:52

he should call him mr stickyhead like off of family guy lol

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my son is going to jail for robbing our church. This happened a year after my daughter was arrested for breaking in to the same church so she could have sex as a big "Fuck You" to God. I can’t show my face there anymore, and it’s the only church within 50 miles. FML

agreeclassic 1 177

vote type 1 1 556

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

agreeclassic 23 962

vote type 1 7 956

Today, my husband and I went on vacation. We got lost and had to ask the locals for directions to our hotel. Neither of us could understand their accents, and we ended up wandering around blindly for hours until we made it back on our own. FML

agreeclassic 11 824

vote type 1 20 831

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

agreeclassic 52 166

vote type 1 28 486

Today, my wife received a $15,000 bonus from her work. I got a backpack from mine. FML

agreeclassic 32 488

vote type 1 3 672

Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML

agreeclassic 1 905

vote type 1 385

Similar FMLs

It's alive!

Cute

TOP COMMENTS

Comments