Health: Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated...

By Me - 20/06/2011 16:14 - United States

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

agreeclassic 39 521

vote type 1 5 630

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By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

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Today, after a five day bout of severe chronic constipation, I decided to get some orange juice and increase my water intake. The good news is that I'm no longer constipated. The bad news is that I've got diarrhea now. FML.

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Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

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By jetpack girl - 22/02/2023 22:00

Today, after months of grueling hard work, I'd finally gained five pounds. Too bad I lost it all and then some, due to one good stomach flu. FML

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By missbutthole - 04/06/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

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By frankie - 19/01/2009 01:01 - Canada

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML

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Slid right out

By Tabby Rosas - 21/02/2021 21:30

Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML

agreeclassic 1 133

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HippoCampus 7

Monday 20 June 2011 23:08

Tell your toilet to quit being so full of shit!

miserypoison 13

Monday 20 June 2011 23:07

0-1 Toilet wins.

Comments

Ab5traktion_83 9

Tuesday 23 July 2013 17:38

Who does Number 2 work for?!

isabellasimone 18

Friday 20 September 2013 16:02

Thank god for whoever invented the plunger.

that_person18 4

Monday 20 January 2014 10:05

Ewww

cwl727 32

Wednesday 23 April 2014 18:25

two days isn't that long.

DEATHLORD_fml 16

Saturday 1 August 2015 1:59

Two pounds holy shit!

gilbertclarence 9

Wednesday 6 April 2016 8:12

you down one, drown one. thats what my dad says

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