Kids: Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our...

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 02:13 - United States - Herndon

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML

agreeclassic 30 033

vote type 1 9 505

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Classic Dave

By not the mama - 24/10/2020 02:01 - United States - Hesperia

Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML

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Dodged a bullet

By mama - 30/06/2019 07:09

Today, I went to the doctor's office after getting a positive pregnancy test. She did another one to confirm the result, which came back negative. My husband is wandering around with a great big smile on his face, because he isn't going to "have a rugrat." FML

agreeclassic 2 046

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amburrjade 28

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:40

It's begun. Welcome to 20+ years of Dad Jokes.

iipinkette 16

Wednesday 18 November 2015 9:41

He has passed the dad jokes test, he's ready.

Comments

Llama_Face89 33

Thursday 19 November 2015 0:33

The dad-joke is strong with this one..

anonymousbunnii 8

Thursday 19 November 2015 0:42

lol he's a keeper

chuchusheep 19

Thursday 19 November 2015 0:50

hes probably been planning that forever.

Rysal5 15

Thursday 19 November 2015 0:51

Dad jokes are the best.

emisheah 17

Thursday 19 November 2015 1:30

He's ready

pinkiepink 15

Thursday 19 November 2015 1:31

this is beautiful. the jokes have started. congratulations.

willydafo 10

Thursday 19 November 2015 1:32

It has begun

shepardkinz 19

Thursday 19 November 2015 1:49

He is ready to be a father.

S1N9UL4R17Y 8

Thursday 19 November 2015 1:52

your life sounds like its going pretty great actually! XD congrats btw.

elizacandle 29

Thursday 19 November 2015 2:01

this isn't an fml,he's ready!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML

agreeclassic 1 016

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Today, my overly friendly bubbly classmate, who’s like a preschool teacher hopped up on Red Bull, texted me, “Hey honey buns! Wanna meet up early before class and get groovin?!” My husband saw it and insisted that it's code for cheating. I'm not sure how I can explain that she’s just weird and wants to study. FML

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Today, in the locker room, I saw a girl with a nice hairless ass changing in front of me and the only thing I could think of was how hairy my ass would look if I dared to change in front of other people like she did. I’m also a girl. FML

agreeclassic 456

vote type 1 192

Today, whenever I get into arguments, I end up mixing up words. I was trying to prove a point by saying a type of chips, and was debating between Dorito chips or BBQ chips. I ended up saying "burrito chips." I said my friend would "sell me out for a bag of burrito chips." FML

agreeclassic 164

vote type 1 330

Today, a customer yelled at me because the cherry pie he bought had cherries in it, and he wanted a refund. FML

agreeclassic 29 715

vote type 1 1 897

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

agreeclassic 48 573

vote type 1 19 300