Health: Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local...

By pong - 06/08/2013 21:59 - France - Toulouse

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

agreeclassic 46 030

vote type 1 4 074

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

That hurts, BTW

By phillij2 - 09/07/2011 00:03 - United States

Today, I got surgery on one of my hands. I opted for a local anesthetic instead of being put all the way under. I soon discovered my hand hadn't gone completely numb when the doctor started slicing into the finger that needed operating on. FML

agreeclassic 36 482

vote type 1 6 315

By DocBastard, meet DocCunt - 18/10/2013 22:12 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

agreeclassic 43 206

vote type 1 3 536

By Anonymous - 31/10/2013 20:42 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

agreeclassic 52 653

vote type 1 3 552

Crossing a line

By Anonymous - 20/02/2015 19:25 - United States - Wapakoneta

Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML

agreeclassic 29 037

vote type 1 3 367

It's alive!

By yes I felt EVERYTHING - 11/01/2022 20:01

Today, I went in for surgery. All my life, my biggest fear has been that the anesthesia would paralyze me, but not actually put me to sleep. The doctors assured me the chances of that are almost none. You can probably guess how my surgery went. FML

agreeclassic 1 966

vote type 1 145

Surgery gone rogue

By Anonymous - 03/06/2012 20:27 - United States

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

agreeclassic 26 000

vote type 1 11 449

By EnderHorse - 05/11/2015 20:52 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

agreeclassic 21 772

vote type 1 2 530

By Anonymous - 06/10/2013 21:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

agreeclassic 63 523

vote type 1 3 850

By bouncekitty - 20/02/2011 17:04 - United States

Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML

agreeclassic 31 436

vote type 1 5 456

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 20:56 - United States

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

agreeclassic 61 855

vote type 1 15 024

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:35

General anaesthesia is ALWAYS better. That way you can't hear us saying "Oh shit, what the hell is that?" and talking about you.

torio123 27

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:33

That is so metal

Comments

Poppipuff 14

Thursday 8 August 2013 4:16

I live in Toulouse. Remind me to never talk to your surgeon ._.

AGuyNamedI 7

Thursday 8 August 2013 4:17

Thank god I don't live in France.

outoftown 26

Thursday 8 August 2013 4:38

There are surgeons like that everywhere, 94. But perhaps you meant the cheese or wine?

the_real_dvd 21

Thursday 8 August 2013 4:43

Gender reassignment is a very complex surgery.

UNLUCKYyY1037 26

Friday 9 August 2013 23:13

What a sense of humor... I hope

WhiteCrimson 23

Monday 12 August 2013 6:20

What an cool doctor. He has a cool sence of humor lol

boverboots 11

Tuesday 24 September 2013 15:46

that's actually pretty funny but wouldn't be the best thing to hear if you're having surgery

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my girlfriend of almost a year, and to whom I intended to propose on Thanksgiving, dumped me because her husband will be returning from Iraq soon. And he wants to have a "talk" with me. I didn't know she was married. FML

agreeclassic 44 326

vote type 1 3 894

Today, my roommate found an eviction notice on our door for unpaid rent. Our apartment building caught fire and we haven't been living there for well over a month because it was legally unlivable. Today was our first day back. FML

agreeclassic 35 345

vote type 1 2 187

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

agreeclassic 20 972

vote type 1 1 755

Today, I found out one of the main causes of my depression is that my life is too sheltered and boring. My doctor and many of my friends have advised me to find a hobby. Except, everything I would like to do is either too expensive and/or impossible due to my disabilities and other mental disorders. FML

agreeclassic 811

vote type 1 288

Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML

agreeclassic 74 539

vote type 1 24 565

Today, it's been a few days since our neighbour died. For the last 30 years, he and my husband have hated each other and disagreed on everything, no matter the subject, they would be on opposite sides of it. My husband is crying because they were best friends and he misses him. They loved to hate each other I suppose. FML

agreeclassic 943

vote type 1 119