Intimacy: Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of... - FML

By Anon - 07/05/2011 06:08 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

agreeclassic 15 530

vote type 1 62 463

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Spicy

Today, I was showing my mum how to use eBay. Unfortunately I didn't notice my recent purchase history was on display: a huge black dildo, a jockstrap, and a bong amongst them. Of course, she did. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

YacL 15

Saturday 7 May 2011 11:57

You should've been like "I want that for my b-day, too".

honeylol 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 11:53

Ouch, that would suck,

Comments

BeClassy_BeMe 3

Sunday 20 May 2012 23:28

omg fyl love, fyl

sodapop1313 2

Friday 21 September 2012 20:16

i looked this video up cant find it

xxcmb3k3xx 21

Saturday 2 July 2016 2:19

hey give him some slack, he just turned 18 so he could watch it legally now!

LexB100 3

Friday 10 February 2017 21:55

Rookie error. always clear everything when the deed is done and check it's clear before you let anyone else near it

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I fell asleep with my new iPad on my chest, so when I woke up and pushed my duvet off me, the iPad went flying off me and broke on the floor. It’s my first ever iPad, my mom bought it for me for high school and I’ve only had it a week. FML

agreeclassic 420

vote type 1 1 147

Today, I had to text my landlord to tell him I’m gonna be short on rent. The guy who mugged me last night took the money I made from tips that was supposed to complete my rent. He replied, “Wow that’s wild. I don’t know how you’re gonna come up with the rest by 11:59 tonight, or you’re evicted in 30 days.” FML

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Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

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Today, my 6-year-old daughter and I were leaving a swimming pool when we passed the front desk, where there was a Canadian flag. She said, "Look daddy! A maple leaf! Just like on your ass!” I forgot that she knew about my tattoo and the flag. We ran out as people burst out laughing. FML

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Today, I was teasing my son about all the newlywed sex he must be having. He turned bright red and ended up admitting that because they stayed virgins until marriage they were too nervous to try on the wedding night, or on the honeymoon, or anytime since then. The wedding was 4 months ago. FML

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Today, I finished my SAT and was feeling pretty good about it. I decided to turn on my phone, since it was on silent. As the guy was collecting our tests, my phone vibrated a little. My score was cancelled. It was a text from my mom reminding me to turn off my phone. FML

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