Transportation: Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next...

By skrillexblewme - 02/08/2012 16:30 - United States

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

agreeclassic 27 057

vote type 1 2 438

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By legitweirdo - 08/01/2013 04:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

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By planes - 30/12/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

agreeclassic 37 024

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Unflattered

By lindsay - 28/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML

agreeclassic 1 797

vote type 1 161

By lotd - 31/07/2012 23:28 - United Kingdom - Henley On Thames

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

agreeclassic 26 153

vote type 1 2 078

By GeorgiaBOYY - 04/01/2010 17:40 - United States

Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML

agreeclassic 33 188

vote type 1 8 214

I am the passenger…

By northernlass - 01/10/2010 14:32 - United States

Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML

agreeclassic 13 493

vote type 1 37 043

The Curse

By ugly me - 24/10/2010 00:50 - United States

Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML

agreeclassic 29 432

vote type 1 3 648

Get me out of here

By IamHM - 19/07/2016 18:36 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML

agreeclassic 13 287

vote type 1 1 763

By Flyier - 30/09/2017 04:30

Today, as a flight attendant, I had to deal with a passenger staring at a stewardess constantly and masturbating. His wife was sitting next to him and didn't mind. FML

agreeclassic 4 988

vote type 1 302

Turbulence

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 21:30

Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML

agreeclassic 815

vote type 1 118

Bonzer 2

Thursday 2 August 2012 23:04

Maybe you'll learn something new about toothpicks. I have no idea about their story and I would like to know.

LappDance 16

Thursday 2 August 2012 23:04

I hope you brought headphones!

Comments

feitan98 13

Wednesday 19 August 2015 0:18

Start saying some random satanistic things might scare off the priest and the toothpick guy (while also making you look like a freak)

Astrobomb 21

Saturday 27 August 2016 7:06

aww I love old men and their stories!

fantastamazing 10

Wednesday 24 May 2017 2:08

At least he's not telling the story of how lube came to be. THAT would ba an awkward flight.

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Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML

agreeclassic 50 777

vote type 1 5 615

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML

agreeclassic 42 079

vote type 1 6 744

Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML

agreeclassic 964

vote type 1 132

Today, I felt flexible in my yoga class. I put my legs in the butterfly position and tried to press them down. Both my hips popped very painfully and I screamed in the middle of a quiet room. FML

agreeclassic 22 743

vote type 1 3 853

Today, my daughter finally learned that you can’t sleep your way to success, after she tried and failed to seduce her married boss, was sacked, and blacklisted as a potential lawsuit throughout every company specialising in her chosen career field. FML

agreeclassic 1 543

vote type 1 518

Today, a woman shouted at me to give up my disabled seat on the bus because she wanted to sit down. She wasn't physically disabled, wasn't nearly old enough to need it, and the bus was half empty anyway. I guess my prosthetic leg doesn't entitle me to a priority seat. FML

agreeclassic 4 579

vote type 1 226