Intimacy: Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself...

By Anonymous - 22/04/2014 03:00 - United States

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

agreeclassic 57 382

vote type 1 15 565

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By j - 18/04/2016 22:24 - United States

Today, my wife told me alcohol gives me "increased confidence without increased ability." FML

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By Brilee Bruxvoort - 25/12/2020 09:58 - United States - West Des Moines

Today, after I divorced my husband because of his extreme alcoholism, he's now sober and got his life together and I see the man I fell madly in love with. Apparently, getting better for revenge meant more than getting better for the marriage. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 16:00

Today, after I was surprised by my husband announcing he was coming off the drink and going to the gym to get in shape, I found out that I've been such a fool, as it turns out the pre-workout shakes he kept making contained about 5 shots of vodka, so he could drink at home without me moaning. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:02

Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/05/2022 10:00

Today, if I want to be sexually attracted to my wife, I need to be very drunk, but if I'm very drunk there's about a 2/3 chance I'll have whisky dick. Before you ask, we've been married over 40 years, so there's no point in divorcing, we've been together too long, so who else would want to shag us except each other? FML

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Biblically correct frustration

By Bigfoot73 - 09/03/2023 08:00 - United States - Statesville

Today, it's been twelve years, seven months, and fifteen days since my wife has wanted sex. She was drunk. She no longer drinks. Guess my name is Job now and I have to be patient. FML

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By Shenza - 17/06/2012 12:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/08/2025 21:00 - United States - Northfield

Today, my wife was finally in the mood after 150+ attempts to seduce her and I was drunk to keep it up. Now she's upset and thinks I'm not attracted to her. FML

agreeclassic 331

vote type 1 148

By Helen - 10/11/2012 10:15 - United States - Pine Bluff

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

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LuluRichards 20

Tuesday 22 April 2014 8:20

Maybe marriage counselling is worth a try?

Nimmrodel 11

Tuesday 22 April 2014 8:21

That was one depressing read. Maybe time to seek help; that's not healthy for you or him.

Comments

StarkWolf_fml 23

Friday 29 September 2017 19:11

thank god for divorce right? fail safe for marriages :)

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 24 February 2018 1:50

Divorce?

kittcat 7

Wednesday 28 February 2018 21:10

have two bottles instead

123Puppy 33

Wednesday 4 September 2019 23:47

Did you try talking to him about it?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because I finished the Game of Thrones books before he could finish the TV show. FML

agreeclassic 13 466

vote type 1 1 406

Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML

agreeclassic 38 676

vote type 1 4 958

Today, I was eating an ice cream on a sidewalk and some woman decided it was time to clip her toenails on her balcony above me. One of the nail shards fell onto my ice cream. FML

agreeclassic 1 272

vote type 1 100

Today, it snowed. Rather than enjoy the view, my roommate had to complain every five minutes about the mentally challenged neighbor shovelling snow all day long. As long as he doesn't shovel it into my yard, I really don't care what he does to pass the time in lockdown. FML

agreeclassic 853

vote type 1 104

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

agreeclassic 38 505

vote type 1 27 371

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

agreeclassic 25 120

vote type 1 46 331