Love: Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found... - FML

By loser - 09/11/2012 16:07 - United States - Washington

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

agreeclassic 21 596

vote type 1 6 021

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Divorce? - 29/07/2017 00:30

Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML

agreeclassic 4 037

vote type 1 609

Stuck in the past

By Anonymous - 05/04/2020 05:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML

agreeclassic 1 427

vote type 1 416

By boblaj - 22/05/2012 16:11 - United Kingdom - Hastings

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

agreeclassic 22 879

vote type 1 4 039

By I_dislike_Twilight - 08/09/2011 12:52 - United States

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

agreeclassic 39 407

vote type 1 4 710

Never forget

By Emma - 17/11/2023 10:00

Today, I found out my husband has been messaging younger girls on Tinder and trying to meet up. I asked him why he would do such a thing when we have a healthy sex life. His response was ,“They’re just hotter, just like that senior football player you cheated on me with in sophomore year high school.” We’re 40 now. FML

agreeclassic 517

vote type 1 596

By So little trust. - 12/07/2013 23:18 - Canada - Coaldale

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

agreeclassic 52 482

vote type 1 7 667

By CHEERS, TUMBLTARD - 13/09/2013 21:31

Today, while chatting with a friend online, I told her that Kristen Stewart isn't going to star in the 50 Shades movie as she originally thought. She then spammed me with so many "NO"/"NO WAY" messages that my crappy laptop froze up, forcing me to reboot and lose a ton of unsaved essay notes. FML

agreeclassic 44 839

vote type 1 12 569

Play stupid games…

By Boomerang - 04/06/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I thought I’d get revenge on my cheating husband by seducing the woman he’s been seeing behind my back. Unfortunately, even though I’ve never been attracted to women, I’ve inexplicably fallen head over heels in love with her. What now? FML

agreeclassic 148

vote type 1 984

By S. Tucker - 07/06/2011 09:28 - United States

Today, I learned how unhappy my husband is in our marriage. Apparently he also can't find a good woman. We didn't have a heart-to-heart, I read his woes in a blog. FML

agreeclassic 33 855

vote type 1 3 620

By sickandtiredofit - 24/01/2012 19:50 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML

agreeclassic 41 495

vote type 1 3 141

Next

TOP COMMENTS

Pleonasm 35

Friday 9 November 2012 18:49

"Still a better love story than twilight" comments are coming.

tinysocks 11

Friday 9 November 2012 18:49

That's never a nice place to find yourself, good luck man...

Comments

Zoey5683 17

Wednesday 9 January 2013 16:22

I feel bad for you...

PerdueManOHyrule 2

Sunday 23 June 2013 3:04

...but it would be pennsylvAniA

daemonsparta 16

Saturday 25 April 2015 8:24

so yoy got terrible advice then

DiamondGirl18 12

Wednesday 17 February 2016 2:16

You know Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson with her director.... Don't look for marriage advice there!

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML

agreeclassic 36 794

vote type 1 12 093

Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML

agreeclassic 698

vote type 1 1 629

Today, I’ve been married for seven years and am the mother of a little boy. My pregnant neighbor came to see me for name ideas for her own son that would go well with my son’s name, because “between half-brothers, it’s important”. FML

agreeclassic 950

vote type 1 59

Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML

agreeclassic 1 802

vote type 1 253

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

agreeclassic 32 105

vote type 1 7 793

Today, I managed to scare my wife by walking round the corner on my way to the bathroom. Somehow this scared her so bad, she decided she’s done with my shit and wants a divorce. I just needed to pee. I never play pranks on her, so how can she tired of pranks. What did I do wrong? FML

agreeclassic 604

vote type 1 113