Animals Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds...

Locked Out - 14/05/2013 19:11 - United States

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds had made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

ByeByeBirdie - 29/06/2016 22:41 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I'd had enough of the annoying bird constantly singing in the shrillest bird voice possible outside of my window, so I chased it around the yard, shooing it away, as my cat sat there and watched. FML

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Anonymous - 30/04/2015 02:08 - United States - Gardnerville

Today, I found the eggshells from the nest belonging to the little bird that lives outside my house. They were covered in blood and it was quite obvious that they had been eaten. While I was looking at them, the mother bird came over and attacked me. FML

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xacked - 02/06/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML

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Anonymous - 09/08/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

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Invasion

Anonymous - 26/08/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML

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Directed by Alfred Hitchcock

EyupItsLucas - 24/03/2020 13:35

Today, there’s been birds nesting in my wall since mid winter. They’ve recently started scratching at the wall as if they wanted to get through. This morning, they made their entrance. FML

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Face your fears!

birdsterrifyme - - United States - Sikeston

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up, and attacked my face. FML

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4am blues - 13/07/2015 04:39 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4 a.m.; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML

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Suspicious minds

abusedparrot - 24/08/2014 12:40 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

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Awwww, how sweet!

Justin - 25/07/2020 20:00

Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML

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HowAreYouToday 34

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:00

Angry birds IRL.

Zebediabolical 41

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:01

Get the pigs to help you out!

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 15 May 2013 1:11

FYL even more if they are mockingbirds. I had a mockingbird nest in my backyard and those damn birds were so vicious I nicknamed them Sid & Nancy! Couldn't lie on my hammock for weeks!

perdix 29

Wednesday 15 May 2013 1:24

#29, yes, their mocking can be so cruel! I don't talk that high!!

olpally 32

Wednesday 15 May 2013 1:27

Throw a book at them or something! They're just birds! Lol. Get a baseball bat.

droidlover 14

Wednesday 15 May 2013 1:46

You should kill them muwhahahahaha

lishajoy777 14

Wednesday 15 May 2013 7:54

To kill a moocking bird.

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 15 May 2013 2:31

Looks like the nest is going or you have to enter your house from a different way or get attacked until they are used to you entering that way...

Kyle_Kawi27 7

Wednesday 15 May 2013 3:04

Dead birds...

Ur_Life_My_Laugh 6

Wednesday 15 May 2013 3:11

Demand they pay you some rent.

jlynpa 10

Wednesday 15 May 2013 3:14

Cue the Hitchcock music!!!

lukehalper 4

Wednesday 15 May 2013 4:00

Bitch u gay or somethin cause no birds I ever hear of attak a straight perrson

ohthatsawkwardx 7

Wednesday 15 May 2013 4:24

Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" is coming to life!

spunkylady 24

Wednesday 15 May 2013 5:42

We had a problem with starlings for a little while.. We ended up calling animal control and they said to get a plastic owl. So we did and they left pretty quick.