Animals: Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its...

By MushyKetchup - 14/08/2015 07:01 - United States - Amarillo

Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML

agreeclassic 23 221

vote type 1 2 001

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By cricketsins - 14/05/2015 05:11 - United States

Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML

agreeclassic 32 591

vote type 1 2 593

By MyNameIsNotJeff - 08/05/2015 03:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

agreeclassic 32 242

vote type 1 3 113

By Hannah - 04/03/2012 20:46 - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

agreeclassic 25 008

vote type 1 31 784

By Steffi3 - 14/05/2016 16:29 - United States

Today, there was a spider in my car. FML

agreeclassic 326

vote type 1 77

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

agreeclassic 73 348

vote type 1 7 657

By Boyufd - 09/09/2018 03:30

Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

agreeclassic 2 934

vote type 1 242

Act of kindness

By dre_bro11 - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

agreeclassic 34 375

vote type 1 12 578

By JustLeaveThem - 25/01/2017 18:00

Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML

agreeclassic 2 752

vote type 1 301

By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

agreeclassic 56 171

vote type 1 3 988

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 35 716

vote type 1 2 521

A07 48

Friday 14 August 2015 16:40

That's it then, there's no other way, you'll just have to burn the house down now.

kitty54321 18

Friday 14 August 2015 16:33

You didn't find out by trying to cuddle it did you!???!? Uggggggghh.

Comments

RealSuperSand 21

Saturday 15 August 2015 12:34

KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!

ouijacorn 9

Sunday 16 August 2015 1:26

DIBS! :D

Chelse1403 18

Sunday 16 August 2015 7:59

Kill it with fire... Just don't harm the stuffed animals.

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Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

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vote type 1 3 775

Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML

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vote type 1 303

Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML

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vote type 1 4 544

Today, I saw my cat playing in the other room. Fascinated, I watched him for a few minutes before I realized he was playing with one of my daughter's fish. Well, what was left of it. FML

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vote type 1 283

Today, my flatmate was once again passive aggressive and angry at me, despite being sweet and pleasant to everyone else. My crime? Putting a baking tray in the dishwasher without scrubbing it first. FML

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vote type 1 329

Today, I was hosting my daughter's thirteenth birthday party. One parent decided to stay at my house, the only parent to do so. The entire night she critiqued every decision I made, from the films to the cake. When it was time to open presents, her kid was the only one without one. FML

agreeclassic 52 875

vote type 1 4 357

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