Miscellaneous: Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they...

By doglover - 03/11/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

agreeclassic 52 166

vote type 1 4 788

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By Anonymous - 15/04/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, I saw a commercial for some sort of meaty beef dish. The camera zoomed in and my mouth watered because it looked so delicious. Then flashed the next scene: Golden Retrievers running through a field, then eating from their bowl. My mouth just watered for a dog food commercial. FML

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By kibblegirl - 06/06/2019 00:01

Today, I was so hungry that my mouth started watering during a dog food commercial. FML

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By FrozenAnonymus - 14/07/2016 18:05 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML

agreeclassic 11 872

vote type 1 1 530

By Sam l. - 10/11/2012 06:51 - United States

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

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Bad boy

By Anonymous - 17/06/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I came home to find my dog had not only shredded my favorite couch cushion but had also attempted to eat the TV remote. I have no idea how to change the channel manually. It looks like I'll be watching Animal Planet forever. FML

agreeclassic 333

vote type 1 235

By Mr.P - 21/10/2011 15:35 - United States

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

agreeclassic 29 239

vote type 1 3 272

By jessica071509 - 24/04/2012 05:42 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

agreeclassic 50 362

vote type 1 3 700

By Cedar Buero - 05/03/2017 19:00 - United States - Cape Girardeau

Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML

agreeclassic 3 417

vote type 1 690

Relax

By Anonymous - 05/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was craving some comfort food, so I grabbed a bag of nachos from the cupboard and sat down to binge-watch Netflix. As I opened the bag, the chips exploded everywhere, spilling all over the couch, and floor. I spent the next half hour picking up crumbs while my dog and cats happily ate the scraps. FML

agreeclassic 343

vote type 1 152

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

agreeclassic 48 107

vote type 1 8 778

AdeenCuffing 12

Monday 12 February 2018 22:20

Sue

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AdeenCuffing 12

Monday 12 February 2018 22:20

Sue

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Today, I was in class when someone came in with a rose for me. My teacher made me read the card aloud: "I'm breaking up with you, happy Valentine's." It was from my boyfriend. FML

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Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML

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Today, I discovered that a high enough stress level can cause the same symptoms as the flu. So whenever things are quite awful at work, I get the added bonus of feeling like I’m coming down with something really nasty. FML

agreeclassic 851

vote type 1 101

Today, my now ex-boyfriend told me that I was the one. Not at this moment though, he wants to see how far he can go with his best female friend. But once he's done with her, we can be together. FML

agreeclassic 24 411

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Today, at work, I overrode the limit on my forklift, allowing me to carry four pallets instead of two. Then I was able to place them all within a ten-foot radius, giving a massive boost to my efficiency. My excitement faded when I realized that was actually the high point of my day/week/month. FML

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Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

agreeclassic 35 771

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