Tight fit - FML

Tight fit

By Paul - 21/12/2025 03:00

Spicy

Today, I'm having a difficult time in the bedroom. I'm 59 and the 40 year-old hot blonde I'm seeing is so tight, she squeezes me out almost every time she "gets hers." It sucks having to practically start over countless times before I can finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 150

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Same thing different taste

Not sure what's going on here, but…

By Anonymous - 22/10/2024 12:00 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, I'm 58 years-old, and the 40 year-old woman I'm sleeping with is so tight that she "spits me out" every time she has an orgasm. I have to work it back in at least 5 times every time we get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 511

By miss cranky pants - 30/10/2010 05:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my gynecologist was having trouble with my exam due to me being "too tight." I'm 24. After the explanation of having been pretty inactive in over a year, she exclaimed, "Damn, girl, we really need to find you a boyfriend!" Yeah, tell me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 502

You deserved it 4 745

Lost

By Alicia - 21/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 437

You deserved it 6 370

Downhill from here

By Anonymous - 21/04/2021 15:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy

Today, I'm in a relationship in which the sex was great and constant at the beginning. Now it’s so quick, bad and inconsistent, it’s like going at it with a virgin who doesn’t even know how the clit works. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 208

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 16:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 171

You deserved it 11 772

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 02:32 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Spicy

Today, my new boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex, but he went soft as soon as he entered me. This happens every time we try. I feel cursed by my year-long dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 904

You deserved it 4 547

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 287

You deserved it 402

Bad sex ed

By Sex ed instructor, fuck me - 18/04/2022 06:00

Spicy

Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 176

You deserved it 841

The rhythm method

By Anonymous - 05/07/2022 18:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend has two speeds in bed: so slow that it’s just not exciting for me, or so hard and fast, I can’t physically keep up and it starts to hurt. We’ve discussed our different needs a bunch, but so we’ve had sex every night this week and I only orgasmed once, masturbating in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 280

Rock, hard place

By Anonymous - 12/08/2020 20:00

Spicy

Today, I'm horny all the time, but my endurance in the sack is horrible. Why me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 446

Next

Top comments

Chazzster 29

Monday 22 December 2025 21:13

Is that humble bragging? It sounds like it to me.

stickyface 16

Sunday 21 December 2025 18:05

What did you expect when you decided to date a former World Kegel Champion?

Comments

stickyface 16

Sunday 21 December 2025 18:05

What did you expect when you decided to date a former World Kegel Champion?

Chazzster 29

Monday 22 December 2025 21:13

Is that humble bragging? It sounds like it to me.

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Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 440

You deserved it 15 824

Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 769

You deserved it 301

Today, my parents met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. They not only brought along embarrassing childhood photos of myself, they'd 'accidentally' placed an intimate photo of me and my ex-girlfriend with them. That was their subtle way of telling everyone they prefered my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 948

You deserved it 3 277

Today, I woke up, walked outside, and tripped over my dead cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 503

You deserved it 383

Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 223

You deserved it 3 073

Today, my fiancé is going to Planned Parenthood to see if he got herpes from a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 660

You deserved it 545