Embarrassing Health The pirate look

The pirate look

Anonymous - 13/11/2008 03:01 - France

Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Looks good

Anonymous - 12/08/2009 20:12 - Denmark

Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML

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Dante - 07/01/2011 00:26

Today, I fell and got a nasty cut above my right eye. The doctor in the ER sealed the wound with surgical glue. He also glued his glove to my eyebrow, and let glue run onto my eyelid. Not only do I have a scar and medical bill, I now have no eyebrow or eyelashes on my right eye. FML

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dangeronpa - 14/06/2019 02:32

Today, I broke my glasses. My eyesight is horrible, I can’t see things that aren’t super close to my face. I'm supposed to drive to another state tomorrow. FML

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Not now, honey

rhya4n - - Denmark - Herlev

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

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Anonymous - 05/04/2012 01:41 - United States - Lindale

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML

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RedEye - 11/07/2017 17:30 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my contact ripped in half in my eye. One half fell out, but the other half got stuck too far under my eyelid. An hour and $100 later, Urgent Care finally got it. FML

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Headshot

suhleedah18 - - United States

Today, I was working on my computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eyepatch in a couple of days. FML

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Ahoy there!

sanza666 - 26/04/2019 00:00

Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML

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failedmusician - 03/06/2009 10:06 - New Zealand

Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML

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Now you tell me!

Anonymous - 13/08/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML

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StephanieSays 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 20:33

Don't be a weenie. My friend got a paper cut on her eye and is now partially color blind.

mister_moops 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 23:04

i don't understand. are you crying because you have to wear the bandage or because of the scratch?

Cloudbush 0

Monday 28 December 2009 16:19

Talk like a pirate all day.

bdunc13 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 5:35

I know how that feels that happened to me this summer it sux. it only lasts like a week and a half

xXZToonLinkZXx 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 8:56

Dude, OMYGOD, this should be on MLIA, not FML, damm this is awesome!!

Anteezy 7

Saturday 16 January 2010 16:22

Arrrrrrr

thelittlebeast01 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 14:46

woooow what are you a french frog take it like a man you nancy

inestimable_fml 8

Thursday 9 December 2010 17:37

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

kevtj 4

Wednesday 30 March 2011 8:21

Pirates are cool

ZoZo17_fml 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 4:29

boo ******* hoo. I had to wear one. not a ******* FML, idiot.

blackopskiller 0

Monday 2 May 2011 1:23

I had to wear a eye patch to school. it sucked bad

blackeyedchicken 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 6:11

suck it up princess

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I broke my mug, windshield wiper, shower curtain, and foot, all in six hours. FML

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Today, I went and bought my wife a new cell phone for a Christmas present. She called me five minutes later saying she got a notification e-mail thanking her for her purchase. FML

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Today, my mom always forgets to close the cupboards in the kitchen. She's not tall enough to hit her head on them, but I am. I have done so at least a dozen times in the past week. I swear, I'm gonna knock myself out on those cupboards one of these days. FML

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Today, my boyfriend gave me a very thoughtful gift: A pair of woolen socks, hand-knitted by his mom. They were a size 43. Yes, that’s his size. I wear a 36. FML

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Today, I was feeling saucy so I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. He then set it as his laptop's desktop screen, took a picture, then sent to me saying, "Hmm, should probably change this before Monday", only he didn't send it me, he sent to his family group chat with his mum and sisters and didn't realise. Everyone saw. FML

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Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML

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