Intimacy, Sex, Poopoo peepee and Gross: The geyser - FML

The geyser

By Anonymous - 15/05/2020 23:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

agreeclassic 6 134

vote type 1 415

Watch out for the New Year
It's time to say goodbye to the current year, but when the goodbye goes wrong, it's a different story. Be careful, you might want to stay at home. More…

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By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 22:00

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Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML

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By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

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By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

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By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

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By Walter - 24/10/2015 03:17 - Spain

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Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

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By :x - 03/02/2016 15:40 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

Casper___t 14

Saturday 16 May 2020 0:36

You could say you ****** the shit out of her. In case you ever wanted to say that.

ViviMage 39

Saturday 16 May 2020 2:50

Empty yourselves out first before sex!

Comments

Ryan Michael Clear 6

Wednesday 20 May 2020 23:31

This is Hall of Fame/Shame status.

sickerthanyou 13

Sunday 24 May 2020 21:00

Tell her a squirt isn’t suppose to come from her butthole

TheOtherNewest1 6

Thursday 2 July 2020 5:24

Hey, some people pay good money for that!

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I got a care package for graduation. Among the stuff inside was a toolbox; I never took shop classes or showed any interest in them because of severe disability. I also got a Snickers bar; I hate peanut butter. I even got a bunch of clothes hangers; I had more than enough as it was. FML

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Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML

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Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with, "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML

agreeclassic 30 074

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