Intimacy Thanks, auntie

Thanks, auntie

itwasmyfavoriteshirt - 16/08/2012 19:28 - United States - Bentonville

Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

ewwy - 10/10/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I returned a friend's jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML

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bubblebuttfuckfart - 13/10/2012 17:32 - Ireland

Today, my aunt brought me a birthday present. I quickly figured out that she'd simply returned the jacket I let her borrow two years ago for my brother's graduation party. It reeks of cigarette smoke and alcohol. FML

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I'm disgusting - 26/05/2019 22:11

Today, my girlfriend caught me using my T-shirt as a tissue. Again. FML

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Oblivious

Anonymous - 24/02/2025 12:00 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, my ex and I had sex. Afterwards, I cleaned myself with a t-shirt and left a huge sperm stain on the front of it. After that, my stepfather came home, so we left. As we were sitting in the car in front of the house, my stepfather left on a bicycle, wearing the t-shirt. Sunlight reflected off the stain. FML

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Classic

Anonymous - 13/10/2025 00:00

Today, I threw all my clothes into the washer, including my favorite red hoodie. Apparently, I forgot a Kleenex in one of the pockets. I now own a wardrobe of pink, soggy tissue confetti-covered gunk. FML

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IHateMySister - 02/01/2016 10:36 - Denmark - Kirke-hyllinge

Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML

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Spunky

grimatwork - 01/11/2010 17:24 - United Kingdom

Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML

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Let's get you home Grandma

Ima_Moronski - - United States

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML

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W.T.F.

Anonymous - 15/09/2018 06:00

Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML

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Love Will Tear our T-shirt Apart

Jeremy - 12/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I did my laundry at a laundromat. When I came back to get my clothes, I found an elderly man wearing my favorite Joy Division t-shirt, and he refused to give it back because he said it was his. I spent a few minutes arguing with him, before realizing I had grabbed someone else's clothes too. FML

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superhumangambit 4

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:46

And I returned your aunt... With **** stains.

jewwybeanzzz 10

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:43

Nasty!! D:

jeffmusson1309 1

Friday 17 August 2012 0:45

That ucks

TheMaster15 10

Friday 17 August 2012 9:54

Your comment ucks too.

porkpiehat 8

Friday 17 August 2012 0:48

Bwahahaha!

LadyJoker21 0

Friday 17 August 2012 0:56

Damn

Obryn 9

Friday 17 August 2012 0:59

That was your shirt?!? Sorry about that.

Bullettrane 1

Friday 17 August 2012 1:04

she must be aunt Lucy because she sounds pretty loose.

avaritia 0

Friday 17 August 2012 1:16

THE HORROR, THE HORROR..

Keep_It_Hot99 8

Friday 17 August 2012 5:20

Yes, it is pretty horrifying.

martin_martian7 11

Friday 17 August 2012 1:35

**** on my shirt!!

ebfbruh 0

Friday 17 August 2012 1:42

At least it wasn't yet uncle...

Calyx_fml 21

Friday 17 August 2012 1:46

We're they your **** stains? Did you lend it to her that way cause you're a tard?

efrainelboricua 12

Friday 17 August 2012 2:07

Does it come with free harpies too? :D

quite_bored 9

Friday 17 August 2012 2:20

I hate when my shirts come back to me with winged spirits.

mikeymayhem_87 15

Friday 17 August 2012 4:31

Yeah... Screechy winged spirits tend to be annoying at times

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

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Today, my mother-in-law showed my five year-old a video of a dog biting a baby, complete with blood all over the baby’s face. We have a dog and a baby. I had to explain that we are careful and that she was a baby with the same sort of dog and is fine. I don’t think she believed me. FML

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Today, I found out that as I get closer to 40, I often need to wipe my arse when I fart. FML

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Today, I decided I wanted to dye my hair a medium brown. Little did I know, some jerk switched the hair dye boxes. My hair is now bright orange. FML

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Today, was my first day off in almost a month. My husband and I spent all morning arguing, then he left to his job saying he wouldn't be back tonight. Apparently I'm being neglectful because I don't have the energy for sex after being the only one working full time, cooking, cleaning, and running errands. FML

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Today, my class was called to the auditorium. We were told that some asshat proctor took a picture of our testing room during out test and posted it on Facebook. Someone noticed that according to the rules, we were sitting too close to each other, so now we have to retake the whole test. FML

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