Family, Poopoo peepee, AITA, Grandparents and Miscellaneous: Terms of service

Terms of service

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my grandma called me spoiled, materialistic, and Americanized for reminding her that she can flush the toilet after she uses it. The family now has a "three pee, one poo" minimum before we're allowed to flush. FML

agreeclassic 23 666

vote type 1 1 702

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Inspection time

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Monterey

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

agreeclassic 49 669

vote type 1 3 697

Poop

By Roma - 16/06/2017 14:00 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today I asked my mother-in-law to borrow a plunger, so she asked what I needed it for. "Poop," I replied. "I've told you this before," she huffed, "you have to poop a little and then flush, poop a little and flush. You can't go all at once." I can't even shit right for this woman. FML

agreeclassic 5 421

vote type 1 555

Not now!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 477

vote type 1 103

Open door policy

By Anonymous - 09/03/2021 23:01

Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML

agreeclassic 1 223

vote type 1 82

Quality family time

By really mature, GRAN - 25/12/2012 20:59 - United States - El Macero

Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

agreeclassic 39 799

vote type 1 3 080

By MedChew - 08/05/2015 12:46 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, my obsessive-compulsive mother barred me from using the toilet she had just cleaned. She told me to wait until tomorrow. FML

agreeclassic 30 592

vote type 1 2 148

Flushed

By Anonymous - 24/07/2023 03:00

Today, and once a week for the past three weeks, I had to tell some house guests to stop flushing things like Q-tips and tampons down my apartment's toilet. My preteen siblings? No, my 45-year-old mom and her similarly-aged boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 774

vote type 1 105

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

agreeclassic 57 503

vote type 1 4 815

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 19:02 - United States - Lemont

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

agreeclassic 34 956

vote type 1 2 463

Shortage

By WaterNeeded - 21/06/2018 20:30

Today, I came back from a holiday with in-laws who don't speak English. After taking a dump and not being able to flush, I realised they had turned off the water prior to the holiday. I had to show them my poop to explain they had no running water. FML

agreeclassic 3 914

vote type 1 437

squizzlebee 19

Thursday 31 December 2015 14:23

That's disgusting.

NYM88 26

Thursday 31 December 2015 14:29

If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down.

Comments

momo3p 22

Saturday 2 January 2016 18:30

Sorry but that's retarded and disgusting

rachael_king_11 16

Saturday 2 January 2016 22:36

We got "if it's yellow let it mellow. If it's brown flush it down". My parents tell that to everybody who comes over.

Airbell12 11

Monday 4 January 2016 3:56

Yellow pee is kind of gross; I would be okay if it blended.

hlect3rmd 3

Sunday 3 January 2016 2:06

wtf?

wanker1298 4

Monday 4 January 2016 3:29

Penis

Cinis 13

Sunday 3 April 2016 8:38

How unsanitary!

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML

agreeclassic 41 560

vote type 1 3 655

Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML

agreeclassic 11 593

vote type 1 4 152

Today, my husband started taking language classes. Not something sensible like French or Spanish, but fucking Latin! Why the fuck would anyone learn Latin? What a stupid fuck. FML

agreeclassic 91

vote type 1 1 160

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I remembered what I did in my sleep last night. Turns out, in my sleep, I grabbed her crotch and said, “Just making sure you’re not Shae.” Shae is her sister. FML

agreeclassic 2 290

vote type 1 529

Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML

agreeclassic 41 770

vote type 1 7 813

Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML

agreeclassic 14 584

vote type 1 1 106

Similar FMLs

TOP COMMENTS

Comments