Intimacy: Talk to me baby - FML

Talk to me baby

By fizzie101 - 18/10/2014 21:43 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

agreeclassic 44 527

vote type 1 4 699

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

namyo 13

Sunday 19 October 2014 15:51

Siri who is a naughty girl? "I am sir"

xnikkilynn 11

Sunday 19 October 2014 15:52

"I can't find that location."

Comments

lizzlovespandas 12

Monday 20 July 2015 2:06

siri must have that sexy voice tho

mpierola 12

Monday 24 December 2018 2:00

Just tell him to Google the voice actor for Siri. I bet he'll come running back to you.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Top

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a long blowjob and had to pause for a minute because my mouth became exceedingly dry. His solution? Spit directly in my mouth. FML

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vote type 1 990

Today, my town had a carnival to raise money for cancer. I ran a kissing booth, when a really cute guy came up paid his $20, looked at me, and said "not even for cancer." He took his money and left. FML

agreeclassic 89 621

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Today, my husband had the cheek to ask me, “What’s for dinner tonight?” and “I have no clean slacks for tomorrow can you wash me some?” no more than 10 minutes after he told me he wants us to see other people. FML

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Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

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Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

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Today, I decided that I was going to see a counselor due to the high amounts of stress my life. I planned to book the appointment when I got home. As soon as I got home, I noticed I had been robbed while I was at work. FML

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