Health Sophie's choice

Sophie's choice

Anonymous - 26/09/2018 23:00 - United States - Perrysburg

Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML

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Stuck

Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

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Plumbing issues

Anonymous - 27/08/2021 04:01 - Denmark - Viby

Today, I'm constipated AND having diarrhea at the same time. It feels like I'm going to explode. FML

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The Gush

Anonymous - 10/10/2019 22:01

Today, I had planned to do a twenty-minute colon cleanse enema for weight loss. Instead, I woke up in the middle of the night with uncontrollable diarrhea that’s still going strong. Eight hours and counting. FML

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Anonymous - 01/06/2016 11:05 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML

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Pain in the ass

Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

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Two speeds

Anonymous - 03/09/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML

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Sostupid - 24/01/2011 03:41 - Canada

Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML

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Anonymous - 22/09/2018 13:30

Today, I apparently had diarrhea in my sleep. I had to get up and sneak to the bathroom so as to not wake my husband. When he asked about the stain, I panicked and told him I started my period. FML

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Hot lava from both ends

SickBoi - 30/03/2021 14:01 - United States - Cambridge

Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML

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Where am I?

Anonymous - - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

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jen_jalapeno 10

Thursday 27 September 2018 5:10

One obviously sounds better than the other lol

real life problems 26

Thursday 27 September 2018 6:00

Just sleep on the toilet

Hejira Hayes 8

Thursday 27 September 2018 14:53

Either OP's recovered by now or is in desperate need of medical intervention. Either way, I think we're a bit beyond ironing out the logistics of a comfortable toilet nap.