FYI being married is not consent for sex. She doesn’t owe you an explanation. No means no. Respect her boundaries and learn to use your hand or buy a blowup doll.

in Islam a marriage is a package of rights and duties, ans sex is both right and duty to both parties, it is considered a big sin to refuse having sex with your partner, my wife understands that very well, I also understand when she is not into it. just giving you a perspective from a different common sense culture. This may get downvoted hard but idc,

Her framing has turned your marriage into a toxic transactional relationship vs a lifelong partnership. Don't engage with her on her terms, and don't let her gaslight into being defensive or having to prove your worthiness. I hate to say it, but your marriage is likely over for all practical purposes but might be saved with counseling if you can get her to commit to it. I doubt it.