Neighbours and Animals: Pest control

Pest control

By sigh - 13/04/2016 02:10 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my new neighbor offered to "humanely capture and relocate" the squirrels in my attic. He then "humanely" shot at them with a BB gun, and the "relocated" them into his stomach once they were killed. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

agreeclassic 21 821

vote type 1 2 539

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By bettercallpeta - 15/02/2013 05:42 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

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By notmyrealname123 - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

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By susiedoggles - 05/11/2018 08:00 - United States - Milford

Today, getting home after a long day of work, my boyfriend came running out of the house. Being silly, I thought he was excited to see me. Nope - he was excited to show me the squirrel he shot. In the house. Apparently, we have house squirrels and a boatload of holes in the floor and couch. FML

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By RIP - 09/06/2025 17:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I found a mouse in my kitchen. Wanting to go about it the humane way, I captured the little guy and released it outside. I then watched as a stray cat in my yard noticed and brutally murdered it. No good deed… FML

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By eyesightfail - 21/11/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

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Rescue me!

By anonymous - 13/09/2012 06:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML

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By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

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By Sid - 10/04/2011 00:58 - United States

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

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Rabies ain't no joke

By No good deed... - 02/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, a coyote turned up in the yard where my son and his friend were playing. It was aggressive and foaming at the mouth, so I called the boys inside, and shot it. Now my wife is scared of me and half the neighborhood wants me gone for "dangerous behavior." FML

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By YOURMOM - 31/12/2011 07:24 - United States

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

agreeclassic 30 066

vote type 1 6 014

Yimpish 15

Wednesday 13 April 2016 13:57

Next time, call a professional

carsonator45 9

Wednesday 13 April 2016 13:55

Don't piss them off!

Comments

doesntlookIrish 9

Thursday 14 April 2016 4:56

Honestly. It is the best solution. They would only come back and he didnt waste them. Or maybe thats just because im from Minnesota.

rgetting 24

Thursday 14 April 2016 5:07

I'm not sure I understand your problem?

BabyrooKid 11

Thursday 14 April 2016 5:29

'Cause 'Murica!

1947Chevy 17

Thursday 14 April 2016 7:40

I don't agree with his method of getting them but I will say that does actually taste pretty good

writerchic85 25

Thursday 14 April 2016 12:50

Don't judge too harshly. He did it humanely. Better the squirrels went to good use. I've heard they're tasty.

2changeher 13

Thursday 14 April 2016 16:25

Oh hell no!

zainman13 26

Thursday 14 April 2016 16:28

How "humane" can you get?

The_Boss_553 3

Thursday 14 April 2016 20:02

That is the only humane way I know to get rid of squirrels

cowboyslife 14

Friday 15 April 2016 1:17

I love your neighbor lol

sarahlwatson24 6

Friday 15 April 2016 4:25

I'm sorry, but that's hilarious.

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