Intimacy, Embarrassing and Wanker: Open your eyes

Open your eyes

By Anonymous - 01/10/2021 14:00

Today, I was taking some "me time" when my neighbor drove past and saw me. What I failed to realize was that my dog had pushed the shades open for my body to be right on display. FML

agreeclassic 1 130

vote type 1 420

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Anonymous - 10/10/2009 21:53 - United States

Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML

agreeclassic 32 853

vote type 1 5 959

Dangling modifier

By Anonymous - 11/07/2020 23:06

Today, I took my dog out for his walk, only to find out that I had an extra bra hanging vertically out of my pants. Thankfully, the only person who saw me was the maintenance guy, who looked very confused, so I just smiled at him. I had no idea why, I only realized when the wind blew it against my leg and I saw my shadow. FML

agreeclassic 1 834

vote type 1 509

By Caught - 11/11/2010 13:34 - United States

Today, I was in the car hooking up with my boyfriend. He was on top of me when I noticed my neighbor jogging toward the car. Instead of hiding, I felt compelled to wave as he jogged past us. FML

agreeclassic 8 690

vote type 1 43 225

By nakedness - 11/12/2011 01:35 - Australia

Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML

agreeclassic 12 483

vote type 1 32 168

Slippin' up

By why - 14/03/2014 23:23 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML

agreeclassic 43 520

vote type 1 37 904

By Anonymous - 16/04/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML

agreeclassic 23 378

vote type 1 120 543

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

agreeclassic 3 215

vote type 1 245

Neighborly

By Anonymous - 25/09/2025 22:00

Today, while working from home, I thought I heard someone knock at the door. Without thinking, I shouted, “I’m naked!” A moment later I heard my neighbor say, “Uh… I just wanted to tell you your car headlights are on.” FML

agreeclassic 90

vote type 1 400

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I left my apartment window open for some fresh air. When I returned, my idiot cat was on the balcony staring at me... from my neighbor’s apartment. FML

agreeclassic 204

vote type 1 389

Get back here

By Dog the bounty hunter - 11/07/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dog somehow figured out how to open the sliding glass door while I was taking a nap. I woke up to a text from my neighbor, saying, “Your damn dog is running around at the park annoying a bunch of strangers for food. You might want to come and grab her.” FML

agreeclassic 347

vote type 1 172

RichardPencil 30

Friday 1 October 2021 14:33

So, who was giving whom the finger?

geerod 16

Saturday 2 October 2021 16:01

Exhibitionist maybe ?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Friday 1 October 2021 14:33

So, who was giving whom the finger?

cuz803 44

Friday 1 October 2021 15:00

There must be beef between you and your pet for it to expose you like that

geerod 16

Saturday 2 October 2021 16:01

Exhibitionist maybe ?

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, after several days of deep-cleaning my house, I found a huge section of my room covered in black mold. I almost puked when I saw it. Not only could that have put anyone in the hospital, but it also explains why I've been getting sick all the time as of late. FML

agreeclassic 901

vote type 1 230

Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML

agreeclassic 11 886

vote type 1 44 923

Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML

agreeclassic 24 092

vote type 1 43 339

Today, I had my 7 month check up for my pregnancy. The nurse weighed me and said, "I see you've gotten into the Halloween candy." FML

agreeclassic 24 667

vote type 1 3 970

Today, due to the pandemic and living alone, I finally had some physical human contact for the first time in six months for my dental checkup. Which was also the last contact I had almost a year ago. FML

agreeclassic 815

vote type 1 116

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

agreeclassic 16 542

vote type 1 32 590