Sex and Intimacy: Nomnom - FML

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

agreeclassic 39 116

vote type 1 5 631

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Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 45 897

vote type 1 4 649

By sucks at sucking - 15/12/2012 00:27 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Spicy

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

agreeclassic 39 932

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By thisblows - 16/03/2011 16:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

agreeclassic 51 860

vote type 1 8 750

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

agreeclassic 31 671

vote type 1 9 540

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 04:10 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

agreeclassic 14 247

vote type 1 39 353

By Anonymous - 11/12/2011 11:54 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 55 313

vote type 1 8 658

Do that again

By lotrgeek - 13/02/2012 13:37 - Canada

Spicy

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

agreeclassic 38 690

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By Anonymous - 29/06/2010 17:34 - Canada

Spicy

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

agreeclassic 33 753

vote type 1 25 791

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

agreeclassic 23 349

vote type 1 2 780

Bernie

By Anonymous - 27/11/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML

agreeclassic 7 046

vote type 1 631

Next

TOP COMMENTS

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Monday 19 November 2012 23:03

Vaginas. They're grrrrreat!

desoto96 9

Monday 19 November 2012 23:03

Cookie Monster would be proud.

Comments

hahu 6

Friday 23 November 2012 18:43

thinking of it....u have no reason to hate tht!! it is adorable.

idoitlikeasir 1

Friday 23 November 2012 23:47

lmfao xD

crackajack25 1

Tuesday 27 November 2012 7:14

Ha i have a feeling i know who that was, besides me

beyeswdragon 2

Sunday 2 December 2012 14:13

Awesome boyfriend is awesome! :D

shabbydoooo 8

Sunday 30 December 2012 10:03

Haha this made me laugh out loud forreal.

Axel5238 29

Saturday 5 January 2013 2:33

Unfortunately for the op there is now a generation of kids that think quoting meme's in real life is hysterical, when it just makes them look like an ass or really immature.

jaxv95 7

Saturday 12 January 2013 7:00

The most important meal of the day!

krillkel 2

Saturday 2 February 2013 4:59

HAHAHAHAHA! Awwww that is just awesome.

BoogerDawson 6

Friday 24 May 2013 4:07

If your vag don't smell then don't discourage him.

BloodSand 5

Friday 19 July 2013 21:33

xD I've done this before! The first time I gave my ex oral as well. Except I said "omnomnomnomnom" Starting with an "O" you see. :3

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Today, I went to the bathroom in a mall. As I was in the stall, a woman tried to open it. I yelled out that's it was occupied but she kept shaking it to open it. It came up to the point where she had to crawl under the door to see that I was there. FML

agreeclassic 15 521

vote type 1 735

Today, I live in a household of 3 people, with only one vehicle. My transmission blew right after working 16 straight hours. I had to walk 6 miles home, not to mention figure out work tomorrow. Now my oldest, who does not live with me, is pissed because it is an "inconvenience" for her. FML

agreeclassic 1 714

vote type 1 172

Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML

agreeclassic 34 031

vote type 1 4 880

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. When we took a break and went downstairs, he checked the mail. He had received a letter from his ex-girlfriend, which he opened in front of me. He then began sobbing on my shoulder and broke up with me. He still had to drive me home. FML

agreeclassic 3 421

vote type 1 198

Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML

agreeclassic 25 710

vote type 1 3 241

Today, I went to let my dog inside because she was barking. I saw my neighbour standing at my fence, screaming that she was going to kill my dog with a shovel for barking at her. My dog was only doing it because my neighbor was putting her trash in my garbage bin. This isn't a new thing. FML

agreeclassic 2 259

vote type 1 143