Weird, Awkward, First Dates Intimacy Ice-breaker

Ice-breaker

bye loser - 20/10/2014 09:28 - Canada - Abbotsford

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

45 770

3 974

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Found it

Anonymous - 01/02/2022 20:01

Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML

1 850

449

Recognize this?

Anonymous - 06/10/2014 02:42 - United States - Rock Island

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

44 467

19 806

Weird assumption

writer4life - 17/01/2010 05:30 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

28 089

6 325

Classy

dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

31 871

4 436

QC issue

Anonymous - 02/10/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my date was about to go down on me when he burst out laughing. I'd bought some new sexy panties, which apparently had a sticker on them that came off and got stuck to me. It seems my vagina had been examined by employee No.32 for quality control purposes. FML

286

485

WTF dude?

Scarred for life - 04/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't that bad if you think about it." FML

11 895

1 356

Anonymous - 20/08/2014 22:14 - Sweden - ?kersberga

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

47 992

8 260

MIB thingy please... - 05/02/2015 01:21 - United States - Oregon City

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

44 022

5 579

haggisbowl - 14/01/2012 06:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

32 139

9 474

Picture game

- 01/12/2019 20:00

1 580

2 224

foxwasalamb 24

Monday 20 October 2014 22:12

what the ****..? maybe its a clever way of saying he has a large penis

HappyItalian 38

Monday 20 October 2014 22:16

"Probably not you."

IWishIWasObama 12

Tuesday 21 October 2014 17:08

you have found your one. congratulations!

savemeSheehan 8

Tuesday 21 October 2014 19:48

classy guy

Joshery 14

Tuesday 21 October 2014 19:55

Walk away...just walk away

InTheMagic 3

Wednesday 22 October 2014 1:58

Nervous?? Or just a creep??

lbanks_fml 10

Wednesday 22 October 2014 5:42

Was the problem with the question.........or the answer to his question??

Tyyeezyjr 13

Wednesday 22 October 2014 6:26

No comment.

clair_brodie 35

Wednesday 22 October 2014 7:00

"I'm not sure but it was probably bigger than your dick"

prostar9993 15

Wednesday 22 October 2014 20:52

And your answer is.........

urake 10

Thursday 23 October 2014 7:07

Hahaha "bye loser" indeed Good for you OP :)

ladyg228 15

Thursday 23 October 2014 9:13

Should of Answered with nothing because I'm waiting until marriage. That would shut it down quick

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mum prepared my bag for football practice. In the changing room I found one of her thongs. FML

30 370

4 530

Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went to college. At the store, he got a huge box of condoms. When I asked why he was getting so many, he said they were for the girls he meets at college. He then asked me to steal them for him. FML

43 027

5 028

Today, the ex who I'm still in love with told me he wishes we could be together, but that first I really need to get over the fact that he already has a wife and kids. FML

33 771

7 389

Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get her insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML

16 189

38 657

Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without feeling pain afterwards. FML

891

216

Today, I found a folder on my boyfriend's computer called "Facebook". It turned out to be a collection of thousands of photos from his female friends' accounts. It was all sorted into folders like "Big Tits", "Blonde", "Cameltoe", "Feet", and "Jailbait". FML

27 380

2 891