Sex, Awkward Intimacy I'm Anna

I'm Anna

NoMoreTrumpetBlowing - 14/08/2013 16:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Meet the family

OhMeGerd - 05/10/2012 14:56 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

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Scolded

oopsies - 08/01/2010 01:07 - United States

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

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Not now!

XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

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Tense dinner

bittenbyadonkey - 28/01/2011 17:23 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

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1thapp3ns - 10/01/2010 04:29 - United States

Today, I went to dinner with my mom and her new boyfriend. At the restaurant, while we were eating, he started clapping and singing, "If You're Happy and You Know It." My mom joined in. They sang loudly. Loud enough for the entire restaurant to go quiet and stare. FML

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Anonymous - 13/06/2014 09:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

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saddened97 - 20/01/2011 09:39 - Australia

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

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Noise annoys

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

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Randy old bird

Anonymous - - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

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Dad jokes!

Chels - 11/05/2011 05:17 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

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mattjamt 16

Wednesday 14 August 2013 22:25

Most of the major musicians have multiple trumpets to choose from, if you know what I'm saying.

perdix 29

Wednesday 14 August 2013 22:46

I don't know what you are saying. Are you saying that major musicians have multiple penises? Or, they have multiple people to give ******** to? I doubt you have to be a major musician to find people to accept your ********.