He's winding you up

By Where did I fail? - 23/12/2025 00:00

Today, when I was 14, all I could think about was girls. My son, however, would rather be a "furry", meaning he wears cat ears everywhere, meows and hisses in conversation, and keeps licking his hands and wiping them on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 87

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/10/2018 03:00

Today, I found my 5-year-old son prancing around in high heels and cat ears, wearing a thong as a necklace, and waving a riding crop around like a sword. He'd found the box where granny keeps her special outfits that make granddad extra happy on Friday nights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 607

You deserved it 415

By mydaughterisdisturbed - 12/08/2013 00:58 - United States - Huntingburg

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 075

You deserved it 5 862

He has issues

By just a joke - 08/06/2020 20:08

Today, I playfully drew thick eyebrows on my one-year-old son to make him look like a cartoon villain. He laughed cutely in the mirror as I took some adorable pictures. When my husband saw, he threw such a horrendous fit about boys and makeup, I was reduced to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 709

You deserved it 375

By Miffy - 04/09/2018 23:00 - United States - San Augustine

Today, my 14-year-old son asked his dog what she was chewing on. It wasn't until he picked it up said, "Is this what I think it is?" that I realized my son was gripping my vibrator. As I took it outside, mortified, he told his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 703

You deserved it 895

I'm a rebel, mom!

By SheenaL - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 239

You deserved it 13 925

By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 04:09

Today, I walked in on my son flopping around on the floor with a blanket wrapped around his legs. Apparently at age 22, he'd rather pretend to be a mermaid than go out and get a damn job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 884

You deserved it 2 468

Serial killer vibes

By Anonymous - 18/06/2021 22:01

Today, when my son told me he wanted to work with animals, I thought he meant a vet, turns out his actual career goal was to be the guy who puts the strays to sleep at the animal control centre. He got that job and I’ve never seen him happier. What monster have I raised? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 189

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/04/2021 11:00 - Germany - Papenburg

Today, I realized my boyfriend rather qualifies as a pet: He loves eating, he hardly ever talks or listens, but he is cuddly, always enjoys having me around and can – within limits - be trained to do useful things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 287

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:41 - United Kingdom - Oundle

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 407

You deserved it 3 654

By Anonymous - 14/12/2009 06:58 - United States

Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 801

You deserved it 8 985

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 181

Today, I had to explain to a customer that she couldn't use the bathroom while going through the drive-thru. I still don't understand what exactly she had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 827

You deserved it 439

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 777

You deserved it 71 641

Today, I was feeling a little bored so I decided to go outside for once. Living in Florida is nice and all, except for the fact that right now I'm putting ice over two snake bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 853

You deserved it 1 177

Today, I managed to give myself a blowjob and it was great. The only problem is that I got stuck between the wall and my bed while I was doing it. I had to call for help and my whole family came to see what was wrong. They all knew what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 6 368

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 423

You deserved it 55 353