For science! - FML

For science!

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 12:00

Spicy

Today, my husband insisted a man can orgasm without cumming if he just clenches hard enough, so of course he went ahead and tried. He got such a powerful cramp in his groin, he shat himself on our cream carpet. Then as I tried to help, he came anyway, right into my fucking eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 34

Women's Day: Equality and Laughter
Stories that celebrate women in a light-hearted and humorous way, because equality can also be a source of joy! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 20/08/2021 20:01

Spicy

Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 534

You deserved it 203

Chemical warfare

By Danielle Heichelbech - 08/11/2020 08:02 - United States

Today, my 28-year-old husband lifted one cheek, strained so hard I thought he'd shat himself, and screamed, "Fire one!" as he released from his ass a stench so awful all my eyebrows and eyelashes are now permanently curly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 171

By countryblumpkin - 01/08/2013 18:06 - United States - Grand Rapids

Spicy

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 123

You deserved it 7 172

By naughtymommy0317 - 20/06/2013 08:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 147

You deserved it 5 931

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 917

You deserved it 8 669

Really into it

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 22:00

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 257

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 641

You deserved it 2 710

Overdoing it a bit

By Anonymous - 12/11/2022 16:00

Spicy

Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 1 211

By spaceavery - 24/09/2016 04:53 - United States - Gresham

Spicy

Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 307

You deserved it 1 592

By Anonymous - 05/12/2013 19:10 - United Kingdom - Washington

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 744

You deserved it 8 792

Next

Top comments

mr.DiddyEpsteen 3

Wednesday 4 March 2026 18:07

photos or it never happened

sirrubberduckie 36

Thursday 5 March 2026 4:17

Well, it's certainly possible, but it's not exactly easy.

Comments

mr.DiddyEpsteen 3

Wednesday 4 March 2026 18:07

photos or it never happened

sirrubberduckie 36

Thursday 5 March 2026 4:17

Well, it's certainly possible, but it's not exactly easy.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, and thanks to my psychologist, I realized I have yet again wasted years on a one-sided friendship, after said friend cut me out of his life without even speaking to me. The reason? I told him to talk to the people he had issues with before cutting them out of his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 199

You deserved it 192

Today, I no longer need an alarm clock. My cat has learned to jump on my boobs at precisely 7:30 every morning. If I don't get up immediately, she just keeps jumping on my boobs. I'm an E cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 666

You deserved it 391

Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought my sold-out tickets on the black market for double the retail price, and have no way of getting my money back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 089

You deserved it 41 042

Today, I took my daughter to get the expensive pixie cut she’s been "dying" for. As soon as we got home, my husband burst into hysterical laughter and pointed out that she looks exactly like he did in high school. Now she’s sobbing and begging for either a wig or even more expensive extensions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 233

Today, I went downtown to pay my speeding ticket. After standing in line and arguing with a rude woman behind the desk, I get back to my car only to find an expired meter and a parking ticket. I got a ticket while paying my ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 074

You deserved it 17 868

Today, I looked at my boyfriend of four years's phone. He may not be cheating, but he was trying, and got shot down five times by three different women. Pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 120