Fishing Break Brake Fail! By FML Approved - 07/09/2017 03:30 Easy living isn't always easy... I agree, your life sucks 593 You deserved it 190 Share Tweet Share
Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 778 You deserved it 6 601
Today, I saw my grandma for the first time since I got new glasses. Wanting to be different, I got crystal colored ones instead of black. She said, "Thank God. You looked so dorky with your giant nerd glasses!" Love you too, grandma. FML I agree, your life sucks 628 You deserved it 191
Today, after 3 months of quarantine being totally broke, I was finally glad to get back to work. I found out that they no longer need me because "there's no money" to pay me. As I was leaving, I saw freshly renovated rooms, a huge new plasma, and a crowd of workers busy expanding the summer terrace. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 756 You deserved it 247
Today, my boyfriend is so insanely insecure that he actually got jealous when a nearly 80 year-old man told me I had a beautiful smile while grocery shopping. FML I agree, your life sucks 499 You deserved it 135
Today, for some reason, I suddenly started having convulsions all over my body. It lasted until my cat showed up and purred his heart out on my chest until it stopped. He then immediately demanded that I feed him. Apparently, according to my cat, my only reason for existing is to feed him. FML I agree, your life sucks 887 You deserved it 273
Today, I spent a wonderful day with my girlfriend. I got her everything she wanted, and drained my wallet. On the walk home she noticed a license plate that had an ex-girlfriend's name on it. She saw me looking and accused me of still being in love with my ex, and stormed off. After throwing salad in my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 964 You deserved it 5 046
Looks like that car's sleepin' with the fishes.