Miscellaneous Dressed for success - FML

Dressed for success

wtf - 03/02/2009 03:28 - United States

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and I was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Sneaky

Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

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Wiped out

STIgary - 17/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, while at work, I had to poop. While wiping, I somehow managed to get the back tail of my shirt in between my butthole and the toilet paper, effectively wiping my ass with my white dress shirt. FML

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Raincheck?

jib - 09/04/2022 07:00 - United States - Kilgore

Today, I was suffering from some gastric distress. While on my way to a job interview, I slipped on some concrete that was wet due to a recent slight rain shower. I didn't fall. I DID shit my pants though. I walked back home slowly in shame to clean up the mess. I didn't make it to the interview. FML

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Stars of CCTV

Guess I'm jobless - 10/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML

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tori210 - 15/08/2017 16:00

Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML

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SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

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Anonymous - 25/08/2018 18:30

Today, while waiting for my interview to start, I tried to slip out a silent fart. It ended with shit running down my leg. FML

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Nerves

ADH2000 - - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5 year-old for a few seconds. The guy who had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML

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Bustin' my ass

Anonymous - 07/10/2020 20:01

Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML

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Slipping up

Anonymous - 06/04/2024 05:00 - United States - Richardson

Today, while I was at work, I didn't have any panty liners so I used tissue. I was taking orders when I suddenly felt the tissue trailing down my leg. I tried not to move, but it inevitably fell through my pants onto the floor in front of my co-workers. I swiftly put it into my pocket. Luckily, it had nothing on it. FML

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wholelottaROSIE_fml 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 21:00

if youve got a sweaty buttcrack, dont wear a white skirt. its really not that hard.

Guiseppi 0

Friday 6 March 2009 9:40

Probably fell out, hon.

sarbear89 0

Wednesday 16 May 2012 13:19

Or fallen Out the bottom....

milady666 2

Saturday 23 June 2012 14:01

Pretty sure this was stolen from Kathy Griffin.

BenTaz 7

Sunday 28 October 2012 6:39

Attack of the hungry butthole.....

avaloncode 8

Wednesday 28 November 2012 4:37

umm are you sure it didn't just fall out?

MoonRocks 5

Monday 24 June 2013 7:11

Maybe it fell out?

catsaregreatmeow 10

Monday 5 August 2013 7:54

Maybe wear a pad?

DenBriZel 31

Sunday 8 September 2013 0:33

Or it could've just fallen out.

Mr_squidge 1

Sunday 8 September 2013 23:45

How bad would it suck if it fell out on the interview chair

jellenwood 35

Monday 16 September 2013 4:56

You better start fishing!

Nederlander95 14

Tuesday 31 December 2013 14:42

That or it fell out and is on the floor somewhere...

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML

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Today my boyfriend told me that dirty talk with me was like potty training a puppy. FML

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Today, I realized just how sedentary both my work and home lives are after I went to the doctor with a rash on my butt and he diagnosed it as bedsores from near constant sitting. FML

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Today, I met my partner’s parents wearing my favorite hoodie to look casual-cool. As I stood to shake hands, the hem caught on a chair and ripped in a loud, dramatic seam that sounded like a trumpet. Silence, then his Mom said, “She's a character!” FML

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Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML

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Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML

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