Dramatic Entrance Fail By FML Approved - 01/08/2017 03:28 It's not easy being cheesy... I agree, your life sucks 576 You deserved it 210 Share Tweet Share
Today, my girlfriend was cooking dinner. To my horror, she took the chicken out and immediately began scrubbing it with dish soap. When I asked what the hell she was doing, she stared at me like I was insane. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 102 You deserved it 122
Today, I binge-watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting and now I'm not sure what day it is. FML I agree, your life sucks 279 You deserved it 795
Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gained so much weight I am unrecognizable. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 567 You deserved it 15 952
Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML I agree, your life sucks 12 612 You deserved it 56 810
Today, at the store, I didn't hear the cashier when she asked if I had a loyalty card. She took one look at my naturally bitchy-looking face and muttered "It's my JOB to ask, jeez." FML I agree, your life sucks 11 763 You deserved it 2 113
Today, after making a 3.5 hour trip to see his parents, my boyfriend found out his dad has COVID. He doesn't understand why I'm upset that they waited until after he was there to tell him. I'm immunocompromised, and can't afford to miss work. My boyfriend still wants to come home after being around him for 3 days. FML I agree, your life sucks 589 You deserved it 129
Thank god the garage door was in the way, mom might have been just another statistic from being run over.