Ding dong

By Anonymous - 20/11/2020 17:04 - United States - El Macero

Today, I got an ingrown hair. It wouldn’t be so bad, if it were anywhere other than my penis. FML

agreeclassic 991

vote type 1 144

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The growth

By Deenadd - 19/10/2023 07:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I discovered an open wound right above my penis. I can’t put a Bandaid on it because the hair down there repels it. There’s something repulsive about seeing something like that on your own body, especially when you just want to jerk off. FML

agreeclassic 363

vote type 1 323

By man-period? - 02/03/2016 06:48 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML

agreeclassic 23 458

vote type 1 1 635

Bailed out

By Why's it so cold in here? - 01/02/2015 18:13 - United States

Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML

agreeclassic 29 855

vote type 1 2 984

Clean up

By Anonymous - 19/01/2024 03:00 - United States - Cary

Today, I realized that my lack of body hygiene reached a new high when I discovered a pimple growing on my penis, which I now know is genital acne. It hurts to sit down or touch my penis in any way. The worst part is that I am only thirteen. FML

agreeclassic 157

vote type 1 803

By Iswearihavegoodhygiene - 04/11/2018 05:00

Today, I popped a zit that had formed around an ingrown hair "down there". It popped with so much force, the pus hit me in the forehead. Still can't get the hair out. FML

agreeclassic 2 255

vote type 1 275

WTF is this fresh hell?

By swag papi - 22/01/2016 05:47 - Australia - Perth

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang. I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

agreeclassic 22 035

vote type 1 8 377

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

agreeclassic 34 613

vote type 1 22 056

By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 14:36 - United States - Arlington

Today, my acne reached a new low. Literally. I'm now getting bright red pimples on my penis. FML

agreeclassic 21 814

vote type 1 2 851

By Anonymous - 15/05/2011 04:41 - United States

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

agreeclassic 84 755

vote type 1 26 768

Dave, don't stick your knob in beehives!

By Pinsky - 01/08/2022 00:00

Today, I got stung by a bee on the tip top of my penis. No one understands why I am limping. FML

agreeclassic 945

vote type 1 365

TCRII 29

Saturday 21 November 2020 2:16

Just pull it out. The hair, not the penis...

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 21 November 2020 3:25

It's ingrown. He'll need another circumcision.

Comments

TCRII 29

Saturday 21 November 2020 2:16

Just pull it out. The hair, not the penis...

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 21 November 2020 3:25

It's ingrown. He'll need another circumcision.

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Today, I went with my boyfriend to the optometrist for him to buy contact lenses for the first time. He said the detail was much better than glasses. I excitedly asked him if he could see my freckles better now, and after a long and disappointed look at my face, he said "Nope, just more acne." FML

agreeclassic 25 626

vote type 1 3 791

Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "LMAO" out loud at his friend's joke. FML

agreeclassic 27 693

vote type 1 2 136

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

agreeclassic 7 860

vote type 1 30 890

Today, I was having a conversation with my husband when our daughter walked in and shouted at us, “For god's sake, will you two either stop shouting or buy some fucking hearing aids.” That’s when we realised we might be going deaf, given that we've been saying “Pardon?” or “What?” without noticing. FML

agreeclassic 647

vote type 1 262

Today, I finally have my own space and was hopeful that I would get to improve myself in different ways, personally… except that the thin walls contradicts my personal goal during this moment of my life. FML

agreeclassic 288

vote type 1 142

Today, my 7-month-old spit up on the floor. My 3-year-old puts their hands in it, sniffed, and puked. Then sticks their hands in their own puke, sniffed, and puked again. FML

agreeclassic 1 664

vote type 1 252