Can't get no… - FML

Can't get no…

By Anonymous - 21/09/2020 09:05 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Spicy

Today, my seventy-year-old male live-in landlord asked if I'd heard a low humming noise the last few nights, around midnight, as someone had mentioned it. I feigned ignorance, whilst silently lamenting the decline of my self-pleasure opportunities. FML

agreeclassic 1 474

vote type 1 296

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By can’t sleep - 17/06/2020 17:04

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Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

RichardPencil 30

Monday 21 September 2020 10:09

Hummina, hummina, hummina! Get a high-frequency vibrator that old people can't hear and quit humming when you rub one out.

CA91 9

Tuesday 22 September 2020 1:27

you pay rent... what you get up to in your room is your business 🤷🏼‍♀️

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 21 September 2020 10:09

Hummina, hummina, hummina! Get a high-frequency vibrator that old people can't hear and quit humming when you rub one out.

CA91 9

Tuesday 22 September 2020 1:27

you pay rent... what you get up to in your room is your business 🤷🏼‍♀️

kfchicken 31

Tuesday 22 September 2020 3:42

if it's bothering her roommates after midnight Maybe., regardless, I'm assuming she mostly doesn't want the whole house knowing her fap schedule.

BurnInDemonFire 35

Friday 25 September 2020 17:46

What a buzzkill...

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Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

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Today, my boss fired me. Then later on Facebook, his public status was, "Finally fired the sumo wrestler!" FML

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