Can't be arsed

By Anonymous - 21/01/2026 00:00

Today, my dad used to be suspicious of boys like all dads are, but just now he kicked me, actually kicked me up the ass, to get me out of the house for a date. His parting words were, "You’re 32 years-old and still living with me. Marry him, marry anybody, please, before I’m dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 484

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/05/2013 23:16 - Switzerland - Saint Gallen

Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 439

You deserved it 5 634

By mothtal - 03/06/2012 16:13 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 584

You deserved it 2 270

By wtactualfuck :( - 24/10/2012 21:08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 583

You deserved it 2 394

By fuck off, dad - 04/04/2014 21:31 - Colombia

Today, my dad had a chat with my fiancé, telling him he can do better than me, and to think carefully before going through with our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 383

You deserved it 4 251

Pleased to meet you

By Anonymous - 18/10/2020 11:02 - United States

Today, I was eating at a restaurant when a man came up to me and said, "You're pathetic for having lunch with someone that much older than you." My dad immediately got up and punched the man in the face. My fiancé's parents had to walk in the door right as it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 135

By WayToGoDaddyHo - 08/07/2015 06:17 - United States - Beaverton

Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future", even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 011

You deserved it 1 849

Blood is thicker than shit

By Anonymous - 06/11/2024 05:00 - United States - Arlington Heights

Today, my father is living with me because he's broke, but sometimes he has temper tantrums and calls me a son of a bitch. I can't stand to be name-called when I support him 1000%, and then we got into a violent physical fight. We both end up hurt, so I want to kick him out of my house, but I can't because he won't leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 168

By _schaden_freude - 27/12/2015 17:31 - United Kingdom - Ashford

Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 446

You deserved it 1 841

By OfCourse - 27/06/2009 05:32 - United States

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 315

You deserved it 3 433

Tsk Tsk

By whatiswrongwiththeworld - 14/07/2017 13:01

Today, I was told off by a random woman who said that I should be ashamed of myself for dating such an older man. I was having dinner with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 957

You deserved it 294

JackWood 20

Wednesday 21 January 2026 15:33

Or you could just get your own home or apartment and some cats!

DLBL 20

Wednesday 21 January 2026 14:41

YDI. It's not 1950. You can respectfully get out of your dad's house, for crying out loud.

Comments

DLBL 20

Wednesday 21 January 2026 14:41

YDI. It's not 1950. You can respectfully get out of your dad's house, for crying out loud.

JackWood 20

Wednesday 21 January 2026 15:33

Or you could just get your own home or apartment and some cats!

tiptoppc 19

Thursday 22 January 2026 13:12

I have 5 cats, my own place and a wife! OP should at least manage to bag a cat! They’re damn near easy and free to get! Especially when the neighbors kid lets theirs out.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 25 January 2026 5:59

I mean, yeah, 32 is pretty old to still be living with your parents. But at the same time, I know the economy and housing market is crap right now, so I'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt that you just can't afford to move out. But still, yeah, might want to start figuring something out...