Poopoo peepee Health Butterfingers

Butterfingers

caqi33 - 08/03/2011 18:23 - United States

Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML

30 237

9 014

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Straining

NoPeeGiven - 14/04/2013 05:10 - United States - Palatine

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

48 905

9 994

slaughterteddy - 20/07/2016 23:23 - United States

Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML

12 056

2 557

urinanalysis - 03/12/2009 16:08 - Canada

Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML

29 386

7 314

heck - 12/08/2016 13:57

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

7 159

18 550

Fast and Furious

TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

11 044

2 806

Messed up

socal000 - 20/10/2011 12:04 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

30 093

4 871

analbel - 05/11/2018 12:00

Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML

2 858

221

AKA taking a screenshot

Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

1 125

402

Tib - 18/12/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML

15 396

26 495

Anonymous - 28/11/2010 20:03 - United States

Today, my friend peed her pants while we were sledding. I could feel it trickling down into my pants. FML

32 548

2 927

Buggi_fml 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 23:45

You did

bigbadtim 7

Tuesday 8 March 2011 23:49

Urine trouble now.

bigboston 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 2:12

you in a way did

spriteisfornewbs 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 2:33

Technically, you did. Btw, LOL

heyred 11

Wednesday 9 March 2011 2:36

It's still better than spilling someone else's urine sample on you.

rhinestonedworld 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 8:25

true.

SamazingBanes 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 2:52

smells like it too.

ellee135 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 3:16

grosss....

Bob65803 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 3:31

Fortunately for you, you can make more... and hopefully get it right this time.

ScreamoGirl84 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 3:34

You probably just say that as an excuse for pissing on yourself.

natalieb534 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 3:51

I'm sorry. Did anybody notice?

Muwahaha_fml 4

Wednesday 9 March 2011 4:26

Well.... Technically.... Hahaha

PrincessesCrown 17

Wednesday 9 March 2011 4:54

Heres an idea... next time don't be so retarded and job pee on your pants

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

14 043

62 152

Today, I'm ruining my own life by being incredibly lazy at my new job. It scares me, as my family is dependent on my income, and I love this job too. Why am I always on self-destruct mode? I really want to snap out of it and be hardworking like so many others I know (including my husband). FML

196

468

Today, I have never been more disgusted at my daughter. She was on her phone and almost walked in front of a bus, until a man with some kind of facial disfigurement pulled her back. She called the poor man a "freak" and not to touch her, and he started crying. I'm ashamed to think she is mine. FML

1 900

482

Today, I found out that I have a gluten allergy. What this basically means is that I can't eat anything with wheat in it; bread, pasta, cake, you name it. I am Italian, this basically limits me from eating any of the awesome food my family makes almost every night. Here I come plain rice. FML

38 753

3 306

Today, during science, my friend thought it would be funny to pour corrosive acids into the reaction test I was making. I had to explain to my parents why I have no eyebrows, but the worst part is that I only got a D. FML

3 620

343

Today, my father was serious when he said he was going to “disown Holly for being a wh*re” and getting pregnant at a young age. First of all, Holly is our cat; second, this wouldn’t have happened if my parents took her to get spayed like the vet said, and kept her inside instead of letting her roam the neighborhood. FML

505