Bargain - FML

Bargain

By Pointless labor - 08/03/2026 00:00

Spicy

Today, I've lost weight, given up beer, soda, and fast food, finished the house project backlog, cleaned the house, and gotten the kids on a chore regimen over the past seven months, all things my wife asked me to do to reduce her stress and revive her sex drive. Oh wait… she still won't have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 26

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

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Same thing different taste

Health kick

By Anonymous - 05/02/2022 00:01

Spicy

Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 198

Pull yourself together, man!

By NotTheMomma - 22/07/2016 14:06

Spicy

Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation daily in an effort to get pregnant. My husband has only had one task during the entire process, and after hours of gaming, he says he's just too tired to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 820

You deserved it 1 971

By guest - 01/04/2011 21:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 183

You deserved it 6 680

Stuck in a rut

By Anonymous - 16/04/2020 20:00

Spicy

Today, I realised my wife has been slowly phasing out most elements of our previously active and inventive sex life. These days, it's missionary once a month or she tells me to whack one off by myself in the bathroom. When did we get so boring? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 177

You deserved it 344

By Anonymous - 22/04/2014 03:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 391

You deserved it 15 566

Bustin' makes me feel good

By Billie - 03/09/2025 13:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, after years of my husband letting himself go and our sex life dying a slow, painful death, he's finally gotten my hints and started exercising and eating right, and he looks amazing. But now he has no sex drive and says, "I'm getting older, there are more important things to me than busting nuts all day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 192

Another fine mess

By Anonymous - 31/10/2021 23:00

Today, I recently quit doing housework in protest at my husband's laziness around the house, forcing him to start pulling his weight. The house has never been so clean. Apparently, most of the mess was caused by me moving things to clean around them and making the mess worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 1 817

By seeminglyunsexy - 14/08/2009 15:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 877

You deserved it 8 017

Damn, girl!

By just lemme smash - 12/02/2026 03:00

Today, my wife has quit nicotine. As expected, she's put on some weight, but it's all gone to her butt, boobs, and hips. She looks better than ever, easily 5 years younger, but she's so upset about the weight gain that she refuses to let me touch her, and she wears baggy clothes 24/7 now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 91

Alexa, play "Can't Stand Me Now" by The Libertines

By Anonymous - 08/12/2023 12:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, after weeks of slaving away, I finally wrapped up the last house project on the backlog. I decided to take a day to relax around the house in celebration. My wife spent all day following me around, moaning that I never go anywhere, and that she never gets any space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 116

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The Top

The Top

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 491

You deserved it 70 408

Today, I was promised that I wouldn't have to work late because I had tomorrow off for my birthday. My coworkers decided that none of them want to work late, and that I could do it. So I am stuck working late and have to come in on my birthday, which I had requested off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 271

You deserved it 247

Today, I made microwaveable popcorn. When the bag finished popping, I took it out and opened it and put my face in close to get a big whiff. It now feels like I have third degree burns inside my nose and behind my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 126

You deserved it 48 082

Today, I learned that my boss is training one the the trainees I trained to be supervisor. Everyone supports this, including me. So what's the issue? I was promised that position almost 2 years ago. Apparently, I train people well enough to promote, but I'm not good enough to be promoted myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 813

You deserved it 789

Today, I was called an "inconsiderate scum bucket" by my neighbor because I allowed my loud alarm to go on too long before silencing it. The only reason that I sleep through my alarm is because I have to wear earplugs, as they have their TV on maximum volume until 4am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 928

You deserved it 2 652

Today, I had my first kiss with this guy that I really liked. We started making out and he stopped and had this bizarre look on his face. I thought he was liking it, so I said, "You're a good kisser, you wanna go to the bedroom?" He replied with, "I'll pass, you have really bad breath". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 058

You deserved it 57 469