By FML Approved - 13/07/2017 18:30 I agree, your life sucks 513 You deserved it 149 Share Tweet Share
Today, I found my 5-year-old son prancing around in high heels and cat ears, wearing a thong as a necklace, and waving a riding crop around like a sword. He'd found the box where granny keeps her special outfits that make granddad extra happy on Friday nights. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 613 You deserved it 417
Today, my girlfriend slapped a waxing strip on my beard because she is sick of quarantine and wanted to lash out at someone. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 843 You deserved it 201
Today, it's only been a week since I've been in my new apartment with my boyfriend, and I already caught him cheating. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 350 You deserved it 222
Today, during a slow dance, my date wrapped his arms around my waist. Right as I touched his neck he says, "Sorry, I'm slightly sweaty." He wasn't lying. For the longest two minutes of my life I was swimming in his sweat. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 197 You deserved it 4 520
Today, as usual, I got home to find that my roommate had eaten all my groceries and left a mess behind for me to clean. To be fair, this time she did some cleaning - she "energy cleansed" my room with a sage wand, burning a huge hole in my mattress in the process. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 126 You deserved it 158
Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 439 You deserved it 2 852
Those aren’t the droids I’m looking for.