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    : 320



    iguessimtheweirdkid - 06/06/2016 02:46 - United States

    Today, I looked back at my old yearbooks from elementary school. Apparently, I wasn't exactly popular, because the only signature from 4th grade was a message that said "Ur Weird!" FML
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    Beeky - 06/06/2016 02:06 - United States - Billings

    Today, I got a call from my insurance telling me that I pretty much get nothing for my car's claim. I just got the letter telling me I fully own my car two days ago. Hello debt, here I come again. FML
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    fishinpink - 06/06/2016 00:41 - United States - Miami

    Today, I tried to bleach my hair back to my natural blonde. Apparently the black I chose the last time had a blue shine to it and now I look like a Smurf. FML
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    Doctor_HooLock - 05/06/2016 23:45 - United States - Puyallup

    Today, the guy I've loved for almost 2 years was at my house for a party. He has been scheduled to see me graduate for almost a month. Before he left he wrote a note saying he would not be attending graduation. He left it on a chair, so I would find it later, with his invitation and ticket. FML.
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    0716 - 05/06/2016 23:33 - United States

    Today, for the third time in two weeks, the lady I work for has introduced me as her son's future wife.. I have no interest in him.
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    fmlWhyMeTho - 05/06/2016 22:54 - United States - New Market

    Today, I've been so broke that I have resorted to washing in dish washing soap. FML
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    Anonymous - 05/06/2016 22:00 - United States - Minneapolis

    Today, I spent hundreds of dollars to travel across the country to see the person I've been crushing on for months only to be told when I got there that they just wanted to be friends. FML
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    boy in peril - 05/06/2016 21:47 - United States - Lawrenceville

    Today, i was doing the dishes and my little brother poured grits in the washing machine trying to prank me, now my dad is making me to have it repaired or even replaced.FML
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    JohnTheWorkingMan - 05/06/2016 20:51 - New Zealand - Auckland

    Today, I was asked to stay at work in McDonald's until 11pm. Normally this would be fine since I finished at 10 so I decided to stay the extra hour. What ensued was 3 hours of hell with only me and 3 others being able to serve off this rush. It didn't die down until 1am. FML
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    TimFireDragon - 05/06/2016 20:48 - United States - Hilo

    Today, my brother had a friend over at our house. I was taking a shower when he walked in on me, stared at me for 5 seconds, than shut the door. You can hear the water running through the door and there's a sign reading "Please Knock" on the door. FML
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    ash - 05/06/2016 20:36 - United States - Hollywood

    Today, I went over my boyfriends for a family party he was having, when I walked in his mom lifted up my dress in front of everyone saying"is this a dress or shirt" FML.
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    Iron11 - 05/06/2016 19:45 - United States - Upton

    Today, I got a call from my roommate while on a business trip in Atlanta. He told me that he started a kitchen fire while attempting to make hash browns. FML.
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    Anonymous - 05/06/2016 18:38 - United States - Santa Clara

    Today, my boyfriend and I saw each other for the first time in a while since we live in different states. We didn't even wait to get in the house before he picked me up and kissed me and started lifting my shirt up. Little did I know his parents were right there watching us. FML
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    Anonymous - 05/06/2016 18:31 - United States - Santa Clara

    Today, my boyfriend and his parents took me to lunch. Little did I know that he was planning something and so I wore work out clothes. When we got there, it wasn't the lunch I was thinking we were going to, it was way fancier. I was way underdressed. FML
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    Last Time I Ever Try To Be A Nice Sister - 05/06/2016 18:29 - United States - San Francisco

    Today, I was kind enough to let my brother use my wristband fast past for our local amusement park. When he came home, I smiled and asked for it back. He gave me a wide eyed stare and said, "It wasn't for one time use?" No, dipshit. It wasn't. There goes $50 down the drain. FML
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    Availence - 05/06/2016 17:30 - Canada - Calgary

    Today, while I was sleeping my girlfriend decided to go on my phone and delete all my girl contacts. That includes my mom and sister. I then confronted her about it and she said that I'm too'close' with my mom and sister. FML
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    Theblasus - 05/06/2016 17:26 - United States

    Today, I wanted to get a cashier's attention so I left a tip in the tip jar. However, I did it right as she looked away. So I reached back in the jar hoping to get my money back so I could retry. That time she saw me. FML
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    Thanks family - 05/06/2016 17:19 - United States - Orlando

    Today, once again my dad is spreading the blame for his divorce. After he stopped the car, he gave me a 45 minute lecture in a hot car on how the divorce is my mothers fault and how it's my fault I don't see him as much. FML
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    sickypoo - 05/06/2016 16:29 - United States - Three Rivers

    Today, I have a miserable case of the runny shits that just won't quit. I guess I'll just have to clench my cheeks and hope for the best when I get up to speak at my high school graduation. FML
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    JayWelt - 05/06/2016 12:55 - United States - Hillsdale

    Today, just like the past four days, I woke up to a dead animal in my bed courtesy of my cat. I have no idea how she's getting into my room. FML
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    Availence - 05/06/2016 09:50 - Canada - Calgary

    Today, my best friend thought it would be funny to use my phone and send a picture of my sister to my girlfriend and say I'm breaking up with her. A few hours later I went to her house to tell her that it was a picture of my sister only to find her making out with my best friend. FML
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    Annoyedchicken - 05/06/2016 08:49 - Netherlands - Terneuzen

    Today, my soon-to-be husband has taken up the habit of mindlessly scrolling through his phone and just give 'yes' or 'no' answers whenever I try to talk to him. I feel like I'm living with a teenager. FML
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    midnight surprise - 05/06/2016 08:34 - United States - Edison

    Today, I came home around midnight and saw four police cars, an ambulance and my dad on a stretcher in front of my house. FML
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    CaylaMack - 05/06/2016 06:37 - United States - South Jordan

    Today, I went on a date. He texted two of his exes the whole time and then tried to make sexual advances on me. Why can't I find someone normal? FML
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    anonymous - 05/06/2016 06:15 - United States - Santa Fe

    Today, my month old car went missing. Good news is the cops found my car. Bad news, my aunt drunkenly crashed it into a house. FML
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    DoubleShin - 05/06/2016 04:19 - United States - Emmaus

    Today, my doctor informed me that the pain in my legs is due to shin splints. I'm not physically active, which means I'm so out of shape that the simple act of walking around has given me an athletic injury. FML
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    KaylaDaniellee - 05/06/2016 04:17 - United States - Bristol

    Today, I was rear ended at a red light. I was on my way to the repair shop when it happened because my car got hit last week. FML
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    Anonymous - 05/06/2016 03:43 - United States - Inglewood

    Today, I found out the guy I've been seeing for 6 months has a girlfriend whom he's been with for three years. FML
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    kentrm - 05/06/2016 03:05 - United States - Atlanta

    Today, in the pool, I went underwater to come up under my raft. Holding it up with only my head, I felt a sharp pain on my scalp. Turns out it was a bee in between my head and the raft stinging me multiple times. FML
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    QueenAwkwardIV - 05/06/2016 02:49 - United States - Haymarket

    Today, I was extremely jealous of how big my friend's boobs were. I told myself repeatedly in front of the mirror that I would kill to have his rack size. Yes, that's right; his. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, after working two jobs and saving constantly this year all for a month-long solo vacation traveling to 7 countries, I arrived in first one. Within three hours I fell and broke my foot, forcing me to come home in fear of needing surgery. FML
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    Today, I'm working for a company that makes over a million dollars a year, yet leaves me with no choice but to pee in a cup because they won't pay to fix the only toilet in the building. FML
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    Today, I was excited when I saw a missed call. It wasn't my ex-boyfriend finally willing to talk, it was the creepy guy I met on the bus in November who I haven't seen since but has written me poetry. FML
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    Today, my grandma told me that if she was a braver person, she would've actually have split up with grandad on their second date, but she was afraid of being alone so she married him instead and had a bunch of kids she never actually wanted. Wow. FML
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    Today, I discovered how my ex-girlfriend exacted her revenge. Every item of clothing I own now has sequins. FML
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    Today, I noticed a prospective employer I had been networking with changed her last name on her e-mail signature. I wished the aquaintence congratulations on her new marriage. Her divorce was finalized this week. FML
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