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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Confused

    Paranoia

    By BoohooBouquet - 19/03/2017 14:00

    Today, my girlfriend got super paranoid when I received flowers, along with a card saying what a "lovely time" the sender had last weekend. My girlfriend decided this was proof I'd cheated on her. The card was signed "Vanessa," which is also her mother's name. Who stayed with us last weekend. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 7 172
    You deserved it 498
    Share  

    By 635CSi - 06/06/2012 05:23 - United States - San Diego

    Today, my father-in-law called me an idiot for buying him coffee cake because he can't have caffeine. He refuses to believe that there's as much coffee in coffee cake as there is ham in a hamburger. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 25 139
    You deserved it 2 999
    Share  

    Like a virgin

    By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 35 185
    You deserved it 7 134
    Share  

    Love is love, dude

    By lonelyengineer - 19/12/2010 10:28 - Germany

    Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 16 038
    You deserved it 32 221
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    Today, I was stuck on a packed interstate bus for hours next to 2 complete strangers, even to each other, have an debate about the "Drake and Kendrick beef." They even tried to drag me into it, so… if you happen to read this and recognize yourselves, I was the guy in a white UA hoodie pretending not to speak English. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 430
    You deserved it 96
    Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 7 740
    You deserved it 594
    Today, because of my wife’s inability to keep her nasty opinions to herself, the last of our children told us via text that they won’t be visiting anymore, or letting us see our grandchildren. So now it’s just me and her, financially trapped in this marriage until one of us dies of old age. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 516
    You deserved it 147
    Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 45 838
    You deserved it 19 271
    Today, my best friend's boyfriend stole her car, so now she wants my car, the one that I just bought from her. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 683
    You deserved it 149
    Today, I saw the guy I haven’t heard from in a couple of days posting on Instagram. I texted him, “So you can post on social media but can’t text me back?” He replied with a link to a book on Amazon titled “He’s Just Not That Into You: Your Daily Wakeup Call” and said: “Read this and get the hint.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 124
    You deserved it 713
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