BirdThatCantFly

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26 years-old
Tuesday 10 August 1999
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A propos de Birdthatcantfly

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Birdthatcantfly's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 18/11/2014 00:56 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

agreeclassic 21 815

vote type 1 35 863

Close call

By Purple - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Fremont

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

agreeclassic 41 872

vote type 1 3 002

By Anonymos_fmler - 21/10/2014 00:38 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

agreeclassic 33 924

vote type 1 5 298

By highheelcyanide - 06/11/2014 01:11 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend became a magician. His best trick? The disappearing act. FML

agreeclassic 34 970

vote type 1 4 003

highheelcyanide app_comment_confession_title

highheelcyanide 11

Thursday 6 November 2014 20:39

First of all, I am so excited that this got posted! Almost makes dating the jerk worth it! Also, all the comments are hilarious. To answer some questions, no, I most definitely am not pregnant. There wasn't even a scare. On the backstory, he wasn't *technically* my boyfriend, but we had been dating and things were going really great. He did all the right things and we had a great connection (or so I thought). So after a while we slept together, and enjoyment was had on both sides. Nothing seemed off for a few days, and then he gradually quit texting me and I never saw him again after that night. Live and learn, I suppose.

By adirom - 21/10/2014 02:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I came out as bisexual to my friends via group message. They didn't respond; I had a panic attack. An hour later, one of my friends texted back, "k". FML

agreeclassic 35 640

vote type 1 9 559

adirom app_comment_confession_title

adirom 14

Wednesday 22 October 2014 4:24

Thanks for all your support (or lack there of in some cases) for those of you wondering why I told them over text, my friends and I are very close and have a group message with just the 4 of us, the topic came up and I took the opportunity. I have social anxiety, and decided for the sake of my sanity that would work best. And after my one friend replied "k" there were multiple texts saying they supported me and didn't think of me any differently (which was my worry). So it all turned out for the best! To all of y'all who think being bisexual isn't a big deal, coming out regardless is a big deal. So please try and open your mind to how difficult it is to stray from social norms!