lizzstalker

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Lizzstalker's favorite FMLs

Perfect timing!

By Savanerzz - 18/03/2018 01:30

Today my fiancé broke up with me. Two hours later, the store I bought my wedding dress from called to say it’s ready to be picked up. FML

agreeclassic 4 996

vote type 1 304

A little treat

By AdoKitty - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Redlands

Today, the 4 year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl." Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

agreeclassic 29 380

vote type 1 2 335

Congratu…

By Anonymous - 10/06/2015 16:13 - United States - Inez

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

agreeclassic 40 997

vote type 1 8 743

User notice

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 02:52 - United States - Rockwall

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

agreeclassic 38 610

vote type 1 3 125

I can't help it

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 17:47 - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

agreeclassic 36 264

vote type 1 11 950